Nowdays, a growing number of people with health issue problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
this days
, there Change the determiner
this day
these days
are have
been Wrong verb form
has
Correct article usage
an increase
increase
number of people with Change the verb form
increasing
increased
health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
are
trying herbal medicines and Correct pronoun usage
who are
treatments
rather than go
to Wrong verb form
going
hospital
. in my Add an article
the hospital
prespective
, it is Correct your spelling
perspective
negative
development because it Add an article
a negative
is means
they Change the verb form
means
unknowledge
Replace the word
are unaware
about
Change preposition
of
health
and danger
Correct article usage
the danger
for
their Change preposition
to
health
.
The biggest reason why it is negative
development because it is means they do not have a better education and Add an article
a negative
encouragmen
about Correct your spelling
encouragement
encourage
encouraged
they
right place they must go if they have a Correct your spelling
the
health
issue. It is show
how some countries lack Change the verb form
shows
of
information about Remove the preposition
apply
regulation
Correct article usage
the regulation
health
Change preposition
of health
treatments
. For example
, In the past, citizen
went to Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
tradisional
treatment because they Correct your spelling
traditional
do
not know the the right place to solve Wrong verb form
did
health
problem
.
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
The another
reason is Remove the article
Another
danger
for themselves. They do not know the quality of Add an article
a danger
the danger
health
treatments
from alternative health
. They just hear from they
Correct pronoun usage
their
friend
or family and do not pay attention Fix the agreement mistake
friends
for
the quality of alternative Change preposition
to
health
treatment. It is
will be Unnecessary verb
apply
risk
for their Add an article
a risk
healty
in the future.
In conclusion, An increasing number of people using alternative Correct your spelling
healthy
health
treatments
it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
negative
development because it Add an article
a negative
is mean
people Wrong verb form
means
un-educate
about Add a missing verb
are un-educate
health
treatment
and it is dangerous for Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
themselves
.Correct pronoun usage
them
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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logical structure
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure which is fundamental for the reader to follow your train of thought. Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by explanations or examples.
introduction conclusion present
While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, they need to be more clearly defined and developed to guide the reader through the essay effectively. Introduce the topic with a broader statement before stating your own position, and conclude by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion firmly.
supported main points
Your main points need to be expanded with specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. Try to illustrate your ideas with concrete instances or by citing reliable sources that support your claims.
complete response
You have attempted to address the task, but you should aim to fully explore the question by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the topic at hand, and then presenting a balanced view or a clear position
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, followed by an explanation or development of that idea, and ending with a conclusive statement or a linking sentence to the next paragraph.
relevant specific examples
Your essay should include relevant and specific examples, but they were either missing or too general. This limits the strength of your arguments. Develop your examples to be more specific to the topic, and try to use real-world scenarios, statistics, or findings from studies to substantiate your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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