Nowdays, a growing number of people with health issue problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
development because it is means they do not have a better education and
encouragmen
Correct your spelling
encouragement
encourage
encouraged
about
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
right place they must go if they have a
health
Use synonyms
issue. It
is show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
how some countries lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
information about
regulation
Correct article usage
the regulation
show examples
Use synonyms
health
Change preposition
of health
show examples
treatments
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, In the past,
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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went to
tradisional
Correct your spelling
traditional
treatment because they
do
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
not know the the right place to solve
health
Use synonyms
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
The another
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Another
show examples
reason is
danger
Add an article
a danger
the danger
show examples
for themselves. They do not know the quality of
health
Use synonyms
treatments
Use synonyms
from alternative
health
Use synonyms
. They just hear from
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
or family and do not pay attention
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the quality of alternative
health
Use synonyms
treatment. It
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will be
risk
Add an article
a risk
show examples
for their
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
health
in the future.
Conclusion
In conclusion, An increasing number of people using alternative
treatments
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
development because it
is mean
Wrong verb form
means
show examples
people
un-educate
Add a missing verb
are un-educate
show examples
about
health
Use synonyms
treatment
Fix the agreement mistake
treatments
show examples
and it is dangerous for
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
misstiasclassroom
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logical structure
Your essay lacks a clear logical structure which is fundamental for the reader to follow your train of thought. Try to organize your ideas into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea supported by explanations or examples.
introduction conclusion present
While you have provided an introduction and conclusion, they need to be more clearly defined and developed to guide the reader through the essay effectively. Introduce the topic with a broader statement before stating your own position, and conclude by summarizing your main points and restating your opinion firmly.
supported main points
Your main points need to be expanded with specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. Try to illustrate your ideas with concrete instances or by citing reliable sources that support your claims.
complete response
You have attempted to address the task, but you should aim to fully explore the question by discussing both the positive and negative aspects of the topic at hand, and then presenting a balanced view or a clear position
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas. Make sure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence, followed by an explanation or development of that idea, and ending with a conclusive statement or a linking sentence to the next paragraph.
relevant specific examples
Your essay should include relevant and specific examples, but they were either missing or too general. This limits the strength of your arguments. Develop your examples to be more specific to the topic, and try to use real-world scenarios, statistics, or findings from studies to substantiate your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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