IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

9/1 The chart below compare the number of people per household* in the UK in 1981 and 2001.

9/1 The chart below compare the number of people per household* in the UK in 1981 and 2001.
#people #household* #uk
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The chart illustrates the changed number of family members in each family in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 between 1981 and 2001.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data reveals
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 decreasing trend of
families
Use synonyms
 which have more than 2
people
Use synonyms
, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
smaller size
families
Use synonyms
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 more common in 2001.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the percentage of
families
Use synonyms
 which had 3, 4, 5 and 6
people
Use synonyms
 reduced dramatically. The former three were 20, 18 and 8
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 in 1981, and they had
range
Add an article
a range
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 of decrease between 2 and 3,
therefore
Linking Words
, they became 17, 15 and 6 respectively.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
families
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
constructed by 6
people
Use synonyms
 suffered the highest decrease, it dropped from 6 to 2 over the period.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
families
Use synonyms
 built by 1 or 2
people
Use synonyms
 had a significant enhancement in 2001. Both of them increased, the increase
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 9 percent which was the highest increase for the former and 3 percent for the latter. Their percentage were 26 and 34 in 2001, the total number of these two occupied
three-fifth
Fix the agreement mistake
three-fifths
show examples
 of the family in the UK.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words families, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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