IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying to much on technology?

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In today's world, modern inventions are widely used in many companies. In my opinion, modern devices help humans do their work quickly without making any mistakes; 
However
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, several drawbacks can be noted when
people
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 depend too much on the latest
technology
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. Admittedly, modern inventions allow
people
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 to perform their tasks in a short time without any errors.
In other words
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, most big organizations rely on
technology
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 as it makes it easier for them to run their businesses.
For example
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, in Japan, there are a lot of innovations that are used to design new products, which makes them gain more profits.
As a result
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, they do not need to hire designers and pay them high salaries. One of the disadvantages of advanced machines is that employees will lose their jobs.
This
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 is because most industries will rely on machines rather than humans. Owing to
this
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, the rate of poverty in the country will increase, which will eventually affect the economy of the country. In some cases, society will turn to crimes,
such
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 as theft and kidnapping.
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,
this
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 will expose the lives of innocent
people
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 to danger.
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, with
technology
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, workers may have issues with their social skills. To put it simply, computerization can damage the office community and make jobs more mechanical and soulless.
For instance
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, in most developed companies,
people
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 do not communicate with each other since they spend most of their time in front of computers.
To sum up
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, I believe that modern innovations can be useful, especially in speed and accuracy.
Nevertheless
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, they can increase the rate of unemployment, and
people
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 will suffer from a lack of communication skills. If all companies relied on
technology
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, it would make life more complicated.

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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be covered in the essay, and that the conclusion effectively summarizes the arguments made while providing a final perspective on the topic.
logical structure
The logical structure could be improved by maintaining clear and concise paragraphing with each paragraph dedicated to a single idea, supported by appropriate examples and explanations.
supported main points
Support main points with specific and relevant examples, ensuring that each argument or opinion presented is substantiated by evidence or a scenario that solidifies the point being made.
complete response
Provide a thorough response to all aspects of the task by fully addressing both how technology has changed the way we work and the disadvantages of relying too much on technology. Develop each point comprehensively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Express ideas more clearly and comprehensively by expanding explanations, offering deeper insight, and avoiding overgeneralizations. Clear articulation of ideas allows for a more impactful argument.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate a wider range of relevant examples to illustrate the points and strengthen the argument. Use these examples to provide a well-rounded view of the topic and to make the content more convincing.
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