In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think he advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #people #smartphone

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A common trend occurring frequently around the globe in all facets of society is everyone all have their private

smartphone

While

the immediate sway towards owning one would be

the

Correct article usage

apply

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convenience, the inevitable drawbacks of

time

and poor health greatly outweigh the upside. One of the focal disadvantages of owning a phone

would be

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the

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health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

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issues. Those who

cannot

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do not

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have an ability to control themselves can overly spend

time

using

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

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which tend to forget about taking care of their body, both physically and mentally. On the physical side, if

people

cannot manage their

time

to use

Add an article

the phone

a phone

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phone

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phones

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, it will lead to sleep problems, reduced physical fitness, unhealthy eating habits, pain and migraines, reduced cognitive control and changes in the brain's

gray

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grey

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matter volume.

Likewise

people

's mental strength can be noticeably affected as well from difficulties in cognitive-emotion regulation, impulsivity, impaired cognitive function, addiction to social networking, shyness and low self-esteem. Another negative aspect of owning a

smartphone

would be the distance it bridges between family

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or even friends.

In other words

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on some

occasion

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occasions

show examples

people

just hold their phones

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hand which

allowing

Wrong verb form

allows

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little to no

time

and connection with different

people

This

scenario can be witnessed everywhere, with children growing up to adults.

However

, in some cases,

smartphone

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smartphones

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can increase productivity and efficiency in communication, connect everybody from all over the world together and

build

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strengthen the way

people

from far

distance

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distances

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interact with each other. In conclusion, despite the benefits

from

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convenience or

connect

Wrong verb form

connecting

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easily, the drawbacks of possessing a

smartphone

can

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greatly impact one's personal life if not managed well, from health to

relationship

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relationships

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in society.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Jan 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. While your logical structure is mostly consistent, think about using your introduction to accurately paraphrase the question and clearly state your position.

task achievement

Your essay's main points should be well-developed and expanded upon with specific examples. This essay could benefit from a more balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages, with relevant examples to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

instant access
real-time updates
portable offices
emergency services
social media
navigation
cybersecurity
screen time
digital detox
environmental footprint

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In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think he advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

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People from many countries are marrying later and having fewer children. Give reasons why this is happening. Are there any positive or negative developments regarding this?