In today's world people own a smartphone. Do you think th advantages of owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantages?

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In
this
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digital era,
people
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seem to cannot live without
smartphones
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. Using
smartphones
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also
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have
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has
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positive
Add an article
a positive
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impact
such
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as
useful
Add a missing verb
being useful
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in studying and working or
to communicate
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communicating
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easily, but the impact is the internet addicting.
This
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essay
disusses
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discusses
about the benefits outweigh the drawbacks of
smartphones
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. It is
the
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a
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fact that
smartphones
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are one of the best inventions of
human
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humans
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.
Thesedays
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These days
, it is very easy to come across
peole
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people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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uing
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using
their
phones
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everywhere and
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at everytime
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everytime
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every time
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.
People
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can use their own
phones
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to search
information
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for information
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on the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. It is very useful for
people
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who are studying or working.
Due to
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the widespread,
people
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are able to approach new information quickly and exactly.
Smartphones
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not only help
people
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approach information quickly, it
also
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connects
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connect
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people
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with
people
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.
In other words
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, social network is the best solution to communicate with friends or family who are living far away. We do not need to have a long trip to visit someone, a small phone will help
people
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see and talk together via the screen. On the
otther
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other
side, too many
people
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using
smartphones
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can have a big impact on society. There are some children
have
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who have
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their own
phones
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when they
was
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were
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very young.
That is
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why the rates of addicts are becoming higher and higher.
However
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, if
human
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humans
show examples
can adapt
the
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to the
show examples
time when they use technology, it will not affect much on
human
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humans
show examples
. All in all,
smartphones
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bring a lot of advantages to
human
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humans
show examples
, but
it
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they
show examples
also
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have disadvantages.
On the other hand
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,
people
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just need to arrange their time on
Use synonyms
phones
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their phones
show examples
, it will help
human
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humans
show examples
very much.
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and definable structure, with ideas being presented in a somewhat disorganized manner. To improve coherence and cohesion, a more logical sequential flow with well-defined paragraphs is required. Each paragraph should introduce its main idea clearly and then expand upon it with supporting sentences. The use of cohesive devices, such as linking words and transition phrases, should be employed to connect ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
The response to the task question is somewhat developed with both advantages and disadvantages of smartphone use outlined. However, the treatment of the topic is not entirely balanced, and the position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is not clearly expressed. The task would benefit from a more direct response to the question, an explicit thesis statement, and a conclusion that succinctly summarizes the arguments and restates the writer's viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Connectivity
  • Remote work
  • Information access
  • Learning opportunities
  • GPS
  • Mapping services
  • Entertainment
  • Media consumption
  • Health monitoring
  • Fitness tracking
  • Productivity
  • Task management
  • Distraction
  • Procrastination
  • Social isolation
  • Mental health
  • Cybersecurity
  • Privacy concerns
  • E-waste
  • Environmental impact
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