In today's world people own a smartphone. Do you think th advantages of owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantages?
In
this
digital era, people
seem to cannot live without smartphones
. Using smartphones
also
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
positive
impact Add an article
a positive
such
as useful
in studying and working or Add a missing verb
being useful
to communicate
easily, but the impact is the internet addicting. Change the verb form
communicating
This
essay disusses
about the benefits outweigh the drawbacks of Correct your spelling
discusses
smartphones
.
It is the
fact that Correct article usage
a
smartphones
are one of the best inventions of human
. Fix the agreement mistake
humans
Thesedays
, it is very easy to come across Correct your spelling
These days
peole
Correct your spelling
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
uing
their Correct your spelling
using
phones
everywhere and Change preposition
at everytime
everytime
. Replace the word
every time
People
can use their own phones
to search information
on the Change preposition
for information
internet
. It is very useful for Capitalize word
Internet
people
who are studying or working. Due to
the widespread, people
are able to approach new information quickly and exactly.
Smartphones
not only help people
approach information quickly, it also
connects
Correct subject-verb agreement
connect
people
with people
. In other words
, social network is the best solution to communicate with friends or family who are living far away. We do not need to have a long trip to visit someone, a small phone will help people
see and talk together via the screen.
On the otther
side, too many Correct your spelling
other
people
using smartphones
can have a big impact on society. There are some children have
their own Correct pronoun usage
who have
phones
when they was
very young. Change the verb form
were
That is
why the rates of addicts are becoming higher and higher. However
, if human
can adapt Fix the agreement mistake
humans
the
time when they use technology, it will not affect much on Change preposition
to the
human
.
All in all, Fix the agreement mistake
humans
smartphones
bring a lot of advantages to human
, but Fix the agreement mistake
humans
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
also
have disadvantages. On the other hand
, people
just need to arrange their time on phones
, it will help Correct pronoun usage
their phones
human
very much.Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear and definable structure, with ideas being presented in a somewhat disorganized manner. To improve coherence and cohesion, a more logical sequential flow with well-defined paragraphs is required. Each paragraph should introduce its main idea clearly and then expand upon it with supporting sentences. The use of cohesive devices, such as linking words and transition phrases, should be employed to connect ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
The response to the task question is somewhat developed with both advantages and disadvantages of smartphone use outlined. However, the treatment of the topic is not entirely balanced, and the position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages is not clearly expressed. The task would benefit from a more direct response to the question, an explicit thesis statement, and a conclusion that succinctly summarizes the arguments and restates the writer's viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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