In today's ửold many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a martphone outweigh the disadvantages

#ửold #people #smartphone #martphone

In today's digital world, most

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apply

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people

have their own mobile phone. Despite the concern about

smartphone

addiction among young

people

, the benefits of owning a

smartphone

outweigh the

the

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drawbacks. First of all, the main purpose of

people

using mobile phones is communication.

Smartphones

give us a virtual environment to chat with other

people

anytime, anywhere. It will be convenient for someone who needs to offer their friends to do something.

Furthermore

smartphones

will be useful for

people

who live far from their homes and want to get in touch with their family,

relatives

Correct word choice

and relatives

show examples

Secondly

smartphones

can serve efficiently the entertainment needs of

people

. In recent

time

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times

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, more and more forms of entertainment have been created by many developers to meet the demands of mobile phone users. A lot of mobile games and films are made to serve

the

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smartphone

users.

Moreover

, the film-making studios

are

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are also combined

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also

combine with a lot of

basis

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bases

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to expand the entertainment market on mobile phones. Some

people

argue that using

smartphones

too much

also

has drawbacks. It is indeed that a lot of teenagers are addicted to mobile phones and they are ready to do anything to use

smartphones

. It makes them dependent on

smartphones

too much.

Otherwise

, using a

smartphone

too much can be harmful to your eyes, and it is the main reason for myopia in young

people

Smartphones

are easy to become addicted if we do not control ourselves properly, but with effort, we can benefit from the convenience and the connection of the

smartphones

Tue Jan 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

There are some issues with coherence and cohesion in your essay. The essay lacks clear logical progression of ideas, and the paragraphs seem disjointed rather than seamlessly connected. Make sure to use a range of cohesive devices and to structure your essay in a manner that makes the argument easy to follow.

task achievement

While you presented both advantages and disadvantages of smartphone use, your essay does not maintain a clear position throughout, leading to an incomplete task response. To improve, ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your view and that you have a clear conclusion restating your position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

255 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In today's ửold many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a martphone outweigh the disadvantages

Fully explain your ideas

some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training . others belive they should be free to work in another coutnry if they wish . Discuess boh these views and give your opinion.

Walking is known to be beneficial for health yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reason for this? What can be done to tackle this problem?

Nowadays many in many countries women have full time jobs. Therefore, it is logical to share household tasks evenly between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that to give opportunities to the new generation companies should encourage high level employees who are older than 55 to retire. Do you agree or disagree?

Researches has shown that spending much less time in office can reduce the use of energy for example electricity gas . Thus some companies close for days or a week. Do the advantages of this development outweighs the disadvantages.