IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In today's world may people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages ?

#world #people #smartphone
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In
this
 day and age, an increasing number of people are using
cellphones
Correct your spelling
cell phones
show examples
 makes it more common. The writer of
this
 essay believes that despite over people who own a smartphone, the benefits offered greatly outweigh any and all drawbacks. One of the main beneficial aspects of using mobile
phone
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phones
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 is mobile phones can be used to acquire knowledge or information on various topics. For convenience, nowadays, most colleges, institutions, and schools are offering online education with the proper study material that can be in the form of images, photos, text, or
pdf
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PDF
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. Take
coronavirus
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the coronavirus
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 period as a visual example when,
in
Change preposition
apply
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all over the world had to stay at home learning through the internet, the mobile
phone
were showing
Wrong verb form
showed
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 their abilities. It is another major advantage of mobile phones
such
 as helping you in emergency
sittuation
Correct your spelling
situations
situation
.
For instance
, the new function of
iPhone
Correct article usage
the iPhone
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 is calling emergency when you are being crashed or crash something, the
phone
 will shake and earn the signal to contact with ambulance and police. Even though the mobile
phone
 has its advantages, it has primary disadvantages
also
. Using a mobile
phone
 will
affected
Verb problem
apply
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directly to your mental health , especially the problem with your sleep. Suffer from greenlight for a long time, the users will hard to fall asleep and get a sleeping disorder which is the
obtascle
Correct your spelling
obstacle
 to your daily life.
Overall
,
the
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apply
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cell phones have many advantages and disadvantages but it is advocated to use the technology judiciously and ensure the
overall
 development of human society
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Introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and includes a thesis statement that outlines the advantages/disadvantages you will discuss.
Logical Structure
Make sure that your ideas are logically sequenced. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, followed by supporting details and examples.
Cohesion
To improve cohesion, use a range of linking words effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Task Response
The essay should cover all parts of the prompt evenly. Make sure that, if the prompt asks for an opinion, the essay provides a clear stance throughout.
Conclusion
Your conclusion should summarise the main points of the essay and restate your position clearly, without introducing new ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • instant access
  • real-time updates
  • portable offices
  • emergency services
  • social media
  • navigation
  • cybersecurity
  • screen time
  • digital detox
  • environmental footprint
What to do next:
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