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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many university students live with their families, while others live away from home because their universities are in different places. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both situations?

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Nowadays several students pursue higher education in their cities and prefer to stay with their loved ones.
Whereas
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, many others move to abroad and other regions to continue their
studies
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 there to prove themselves as independent people. There are several advantages
such
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 as saving
money
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, and boosting confidence and privacy and the downsides include utility expenses, and distractions
due to
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 work. I will discuss both in my essay below. There are several benefits of staying with family and completing your higher education. One is that you can save cash and you are free from paying the expenditure of rent, and other common resources
such
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 as water bills, gas, and electricity.
Furthermore
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, one can fully concentrate on their
studies
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 and get motivation from their family that they are capable of doing better,
this
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 statement helps them to do much better in their lives and they become more devoted to their
studies
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 and helps them gain confidence.
Secondly
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, they can easily do their
studies
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while
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 sitting at their own pace without any distractions they are free from doing other house chores
such
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 as laundry, washing dishes, etc. On the flip side, the downside includes that one can easily deviate from their path of study they indulge themselves in doing other tasks and start earning
money
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 to pay their utility bills. They get easily distracted because they are under pressure to pay the expense of living far away and groceries. But
along with
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such
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 problems, they can learn how to balance between the working life and study schedule. They can learn other useful skills as well and try to become independent so that they can start part-time jobs and enhance their practical skills.
For example
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, most students migrate to foreign countries to achieve their goals they can go through a lot of harsh times and some leave their
studies
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 in between and start doing various jobs and sending
money
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 back home. They lost their passion for doing something and started to focus on collecting
money
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 from various resources their main aim remained incomplete. In conclusion, both sides have their own good and bad points and it varies from person to person how they tackle the problem and make themselves much focused towards their aims.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay by using cohesive devices effectively and organizing information into clear paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Remember to use a range of vocabulary and grammar accurately and to avoid repeating words and ideas unnecessarily.
task achievement
Make sure to fully expand upon your main points with detailed explanations and relevant, specific examples that directly support your argument.
task achievement
Be mindful of the balance between the discussion of advantages and disadvantages, providing equal development for each aspect.
task achievement
Your conclusion should succinctly summarise your main points and restate your position, reflecting the content and balance of your essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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