In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you thik the advantages of owning a smartphone outweight the disadvantages.
In
modern
era, Add an article
the modern
smartphones
have bbecome
Correct your spelling
become
one
part of our Correct determiner usage
a
life
and bring lots of Fix the agreement mistake
lives
convenient
. Replace the word
convenience
This
auther
Correct your spelling
author
believe
that the benefits of access to Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
information
easilly
and Correct your spelling
easily
bring
entertainment to everyone Wrong verb form
bringing
throughout
the smartphone can exceed the disadvantages of distraction at work.
Change preposition
through
Firstly
, information
is very critical nowdays
, and Correct the word
nowadays
smartphones
can povide
access to a vast amount of Correct your spelling
provide
information
via the internet
. Capitalize word
Internet
User
can research, read news and learn new skills through browsers. Fix the agreement mistake
Users
For instance
, 90% of people nowdays
use GOOGLE to search Correct the word
nowadays
information
Change preposition
for information
at
Change preposition
on
this
browser, Correct pronoun usage
which bring
bring
lots of Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
incomes
for Fix the agreement mistake
income
this
company.
Another advantage is give
individuals Wrong verb form
gives
a
various Correct article usage
apply
of
ways to entertain themselves. Entertainment Change preposition
apply
have
a big impact Change the verb form
has
of
human life, and Change preposition
on
smartphones
can offer a range of entertainment options, such
as streaming, listening to music and reading e-books. As a result
, more and more people owning
a smartphone to find a way Wrong verb form
own
for
entertain themselves after a Change preposition
to
hard-working
day.
Correct your spelling
hard working
However
, the drawback of using technology such
as smartphones
can be notice
Change the form of the verb
noticed
is
Correct your spelling
as
distraction
from work. Add an article
a distraction
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
it's
can bring various Unnecessary verb
it
informations
for individuals, we can Correct your spelling
information
be distract
from Change the verb form
be distracted
be distracting
works
because there are Fix the agreement mistake
work
lots
of Correct quantifier usage
lot
informations
on the Internet and we want to explore them all, Change the wording
information
pieces of information
that
may contribute to social isolation when they replace face-to-face interaction.
In conclusion, the advantages can Correct pronoun usage
which
outweight
the drawbacks in every Correct your spelling
outweigh
Fix the agreement mistake
field
fields
and need to be Fix the agreement mistake
field
Wrong verb form
developed
develop
more.Wrong verb form
developed
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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay should present ideas in a more organized and logically structured manner. Use clear paragraphs, each containing one main idea supported by specific evidence or examples. Ensure there is a logical flow between paragraphs and ideas.
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task and shows an attempt to discuss the advantages and disadvantages of smartphones. However, more depth and detail would strengthen the argument. Precise examples and further explanation of points raised are necessary to fully answer the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.