IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for people to use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
Healthcare
Use synonyms
 is a vital necessity for everyone. Every person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
rights
Fix the agreement mistake
right
show examples
 to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 facilitation from
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
healthcare
Use synonyms
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
belief
Replace the word
believe
show examples
 that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should
be take
Change the verb form
take
show examples
 a role
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
 itself.
Although
Linking Words
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should provide the needs of
healthcare
Use synonyms
 itself, every person
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to achieve the facilitation of
healthcare
Use synonyms
 itself. I
poorly
Rephrase
strongly
show examples
 disagree
with
Change preposition
that
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
 should always be funded by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 and free
people
Use synonyms
 to use
regarding
Change preposition
for
show examples
 two main reasons.
Body paragraph 1
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 have to fulfill other needs of the
country
Use synonyms
 itself
such
Linking Words
 as
establishment
Replace the word
establishing
show examples
 a transportation infrastructure for
people
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 modern era,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 must
be bring
Change the verb form
bring
show examples
 a big change to the
country
Use synonyms
. Provide that
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 not fully always
funded
Wrong verb form
fund
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
,
other facility
Change the wording
another facility
other facilities
show examples
 could maintain
well
Correct pronoun usage
it well
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my
country
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
 who have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 adequate job could
bought
Change the verb form
buy
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medicine because they have money.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 who
was
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not have
appropiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
less
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
, my
country
Use synonyms
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
a freely
Replace the word
free
show examples
healthcare
Use synonyms
 for
them
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
 who can not afford the
healthcare
Use synonyms
 prices.
Body paragraph 2
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
government
Use synonyms
 must keep a balance
aims
Correct word choice
and aims
show examples
 to
avoide
Correct your spelling
avoid
 the
inflance
Correct your spelling
influence
.
government
Use synonyms
 should make sure that they
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 waste a lot of money. Every person
strive
Change the verb form
strives
show examples
 to achieve the facility because it is not a
government
Use synonyms
 duty to always fully
funded
Wrong verb form
fund
show examples
 every facility.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
government
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 duty is only to provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
facilitation of
healthcare
Use synonyms
. It does not mean they must
funded
Change the verb form
fund
show examples
 all the
healthcare
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 because it is gonna take a lot of money.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks clear and logical sequencing of ideas, making it difficult for the reader to follow. Sentences are not well-connected, and the use of cohesive devices is poor or incorrect.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction is not engaging or clear, and the conclusion is weak. Both should clearly and succinctly present the topic and the writer's position, as well as summarize the main points of the argument respectively.
Task Achievement
Your essay fails to fully develop an argument. Each paragraph must have a clear main idea supported by relevant details and examples. You should expand your ideas more and provide more specific examples to support your points.
Task Achievement
The response doesn't fully address all parts of the task. It also displays a limited understanding of the prompt and doesn't thoroughly argue the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Universal healthcare
  • Government-funded
  • Medical services
  • Public health strategies
  • Preventative care
  • Financial burden
  • Efficient service delivery
  • Longer wait times
  • Quality of care
  • Mental health
  • Societal productivity
  • Out-of-pocket expenses
  • Healthcare system abuse
  • Equal access
  • Financial status
What to do next:
Look at other essays: