Healthcare should always be funded by governments, and it should always be free for people to use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this idea?
Healthcare
is a vital necessity for everyone. Every person have
Change the verb form
has
their
Change the word
the
rights
to Fix the agreement mistake
right
recieve
facilitation from Correct your spelling
receive
government
Add an article
the government
such
as healthcare
. i
Change the capitalization
I
belief
that Replace the word
believe
government
should Correct article usage
the government
be take
a role Change the verb form
take
to provide
Change preposition
in providing
the
Correct article usage
apply
healthcare
itself. Although
government
should provide the needs of Add an article
the government
healthcare
itself, every person have
to achieve the facilitation of Change the verb form
has
healthcare
itself. I poorly
disagree Rephrase
strongly
with
Change preposition
that
healthcare
should always be funded by government
and free Correct article usage
the government
people
to use regarding
two main reasons.
Change preposition
for
Firstly
, government
have to fulfill other needs of the Add an article
the government
country
itself such
as establishment
a transportation infrastructure for Replace the word
establishing
people
. Moreover
, in this
modern era, government
must Add an article
the government
be bring
a big change to the Change the verb form
bring
country
. Provide that government
not fully always Correct article usage
the government
funded
Wrong verb form
fund
healthcare
, other facility
could maintain Change the wording
another facility
other facilities
well
. Correct pronoun usage
it well
For instance
, in my country
, some people
who have a
adequate job could Change the article
an
bought
Change the verb form
buy
a
medicine because they have money. Correct article usage
apply
Otherwise
, some people
who was
not have Verb problem
do
appropiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
job
and Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
less
Correct word choice
lower
salary
, my Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
country
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
a freely
Replace the word
free
healthcare
for them
who can not afford the Correct pronoun usage
those
healthcare
prices.
Secondly
, the government
must keep a balance aims
to Correct word choice
and aims
avoide
the Correct your spelling
avoid
inflance
. Correct your spelling
influence
government
should make sure that they not
waste a lot of money. Every person Change the verb form
do not
did not
strive
to achieve the facility because it is not a Change the verb form
strives
government
duty to always fully funded
every facility.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
fund
Correct article usage
the government
government
duty is only to provide Change noun form
government's
a
facilitation of Remove the article
apply
healthcare
. It does not mean they must funded
all the Change the verb form
fund
healthcare
on
Change preposition
for
people
because it is gonna take a lot of money.Submitted by safirasalsabil1 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay lacks clear and logical sequencing of ideas, making it difficult for the reader to follow. Sentences are not well-connected, and the use of cohesive devices is poor or incorrect.
Coherence & Cohesion
The introduction is not engaging or clear, and the conclusion is weak. Both should clearly and succinctly present the topic and the writer's position, as well as summarize the main points of the argument respectively.
Task Achievement
Your essay fails to fully develop an argument. Each paragraph must have a clear main idea supported by relevant details and examples. You should expand your ideas more and provide more specific examples to support your points.
Task Achievement
The response doesn't fully address all parts of the task. It also displays a limited understanding of the prompt and doesn't thoroughly argue the extent to which the writer agrees or disagrees with the statement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.