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Band 4.5

A person’s worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honour, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#person’s #status #possessions #values #honour #kindness #trust
In recent times, human is judged by their position and physical appearance.Old days values like honour, kindness and
trust
 are no longer necessary.I completely agree that the public is judged by their wealth. The primary reason
,
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 is that nowadays in society humans are basically giving their opinions, by seeing the status of the person.If the
Person
Fix capitalization
person
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 has more wealth and if they are involved in any crime
also
 they will not punish them rather they will support them.
For Instance
,mostly we see celebrities commit crimes for which they will not get punished because of their status and the publicity they have.
Furthermore
 ,
people
 will treated differently when using public transport.If the person is wealthy they will be prioritised and treated with the utmost respect.
In contrast
,lower-class
people
 will left alone and neglected if they pay the same price.To illustrate,in many cultures lower income
people
 are not welcome. I completely disagree that kindness and
trust
 have less importance in society.
Moreover
, characteristics play a crucial role in human life.
Additionally
,there are humans who sacrifice their lives for honesty. In fact, in the modern world ,these characteristics of
people
 are more welcome in the organization.
For example
,there are many organizations that believe
that
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in
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 honesty and
trust
 the successful achievements and in the same way they give rewards to their employees because of their kindness and
trust
 in their successful achievements. In conclusion,
whilst
Correct word choice
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people
 will judge others
according to
 their status and physical appearance rather than on their honesty and
trust
.
Submitted by rani.reddy2003 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear stance on the given prompt and attempts to discuss the influence of social status and material possessions on people's worth. To improve, ensure that your argument is fully developed with a balance of ideas supporting both sides of the argument, even if your opinion leans towards one. Currently, the essay appears somewhat imbalanced, favoring one perspective without Adequate consideration of the counter viewpoint. Comprehensively explain and exemplify your ideas for a stronger response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a basic organization with an identifiable introduction and conclusion. However, the logical flow between ideas can be enhanced by making better use of cohesive devices and paragraphing. Work on smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to guide the reader through your argument effectively. This can be achieved by starting each paragraph with a clear topic sentence and following it with supporting details. Ensure that each main point is elaborated and properly connected back to the essay prompt.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social status
  • Material possessions
  • Old-fashioned values
  • Honour
  • Kindness
  • Trust
  • Judged
  • Importance
  • Traditional
  • Reflection
  • Achievements
  • Hard work
  • Disregarded
  • Well-balanced
  • Meaningful
  • Cultural norms
  • Societal norms
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