IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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It is widely believed that all experimentation on
animals
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 is harmful and must be outlawed,
while
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 others contradict
this
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 opinion by believing that those can still be a part of significant scientific inventions. It is my belief that the role of
animals
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 in advanced discoveries is irreplaceable and should be continued. In
this
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 essay, I will decipher wholely the background behind my statement. Plenty of experimental research needs
animals
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 to prove the significance of their hypothesis. Before researchers have the right to validate their findings, they are required to make a prototype and interact it with a considerable amount of samples.
For example
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, before introducing a novel product regarding make-up ingredients, scientists are obligated to ensure the quality of it.
Thus
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, a test with samples is required. Considering the fact that utilizing humans as samples is dangerous, making use of rabbits and rats is slightly better.
Although
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 it is not the best option, it is the best one available.
However
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, many people who align with the former opinion might consider involving
animals
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 in findings unethical since they can neither give consent nor reject it.
Moreover
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, there is a widely felt fear that the risks offered by scientific experimentation might harm innocent
animals
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 and they have zero control to retreat the research.
For instance
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, a psychology experiment conducted in the 1900s
relating
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related to
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 lobotomy involved a mouse as their sample.
As a result
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, its brain was destroyed without any agreement with the mouse itself.
Nevertheless
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, the fact of a lobotomy would not exist now if the experiment did not operate in that era. In a nutshell, there is no effective alternative in experimental discoveries, other than
animals
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.
Thus
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, these practices should continue.
Nonetheless
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, to lessen potential negative effects, it is crucial for experimenters to keep the whole process monitored.

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coherence cohesion
Consider restructuring your essay to follow a more logical and coherent format. Your ideas should flow naturally from one to the next, with clear connections and transitions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should clearly outline and summarize the main points of your essay. Make sure to restate the prompt question to show you've addressed it directly.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point you make is well-supported by relevant examples or evidence. General statements should be substantiated to demonstrate a deep understanding of the topic.
task achievement
For a higher task achievement score, ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Give a well-balanced view with clear arguments for both sides of the discussion, followed by your own reasoned conclusion.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas by defining your viewpoint and elaborating on them comprehensively. Avoid making broad statements without clear explanation or reasoning to back them up.
task achievement
Use specific examples that are directly related to the topic to strengthen your argument. Try to include examples from reliable sources or real-world scenarios that clearly support your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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