today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?
Today, many individuals have a
smartphone
. In my opinion, owning a smartphone
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
people
update information regularly but it can cause neglect.
There are some benefits when we own a smartphone
.First of all, the main reason is updating information regularly. Everyday
, there Replace the word
Every day
are
a lot of news Correct subject-verb agreement
is
happen
all over the world, so we have to research it if we don't want to be out of Change the form of the verb
happening
dated
. Change the form of the verb
date
Therefore
, some serious problems will be presented in news programs for us to prepare. For example
,Japan usually have
Change the verb form
has
the
earthquake , which causes danger for Correct article usage
an
people
and issues to
Change preposition
with
building
, so they have to Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
notice
citizens to keep Replace the word
notify
Correct pronoun usage
them sale
sale
. Correct your spelling
safe
Thus
, owning a smartphone
can rescue you.
However
, people
can get disadvantage
from Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
smartphone
.The obvious problem is neglect. Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
In other words
, when people
use
the smartphone
, they like immersing Correct pronoun usage
themselves into
into
the internet, Change preposition
in
most
things can not take notice of them, which Correct word choice
but most
get
some Verb problem
causes
heath
problems. Correct your spelling
health
For instance
, in adolescent
age, Correct article usage
the adolescent
people
alway
we Correct your spelling
always
smartphone
and keep Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
it
in Correct pronoun usage
them
the
Change the word
their
pocket
, Even Fix the agreement mistake
pockets
use
when driving, these are reasons have some car accidents because of Verb problem
apply
careless
. Replace the word
their carelessness
Additionally
, some people
use
smartphone
at night so much, which causes Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
myopic
and Replace the word
myopia
people
will be not energetic when they go to school. Hence
, we should be careful when use
Change the verb form
using
smartphone
.
In conclusion, owning a Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
smartphone
has both advantages and disadvantages. So, we nave
to Correct your spelling
have
use
it cleverly and make smartphone
turn into Fix the agreement mistake
smartphones
our
good Correct pronoun usage
apply
friend
.Fix the agreement mistake
friends
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coherence cohesion
Work on constructing a clear introductory paragraph that presents the topic and your thesis statement more prominently, as it currently lacks a strong introduction and conclusion. This will improve the structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve cohesion by using a range of cohesive devices effectively. The essay needs better transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the arguments seamlessly.
task achievement
Substantiate your main points with more varied and detailed examples. While some examples are present, they could be more specific and relevant to the argument being made.
task achievement
Develop paragraphs fully to explore each main point with greater clarity and depth. Each body paragraph should have a clear main idea, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence that summarizes the point.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.