today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

#world #people #smartphone

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Today, many individuals have a

smartphone

. In my opinion, owning a

smartphone

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

people

update information regularly but it can cause neglect. There are some benefits when we own a

smartphone

.First of all, the main reason is updating information regularly.

Everyday

Replace the word

Every day

show examples

, there

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

a lot of news

happen

Change the form of the verb

happening

show examples

all over the world, so we have to research it if we don't want to be out of

dated

Change the form of the verb

date

show examples

Therefore

, some serious problems will be presented in news programs for us to prepare.

For example

,Japan usually

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

the

Correct article usage

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earthquake , which causes danger for

people

and issues

Change preposition

with

show examples

building

Fix the agreement mistake

buildings

show examples

, so they have to

notice

Replace the word

notify

show examples

citizens to keep

Correct pronoun usage

them sale

show examples

sale

Correct your spelling

safe

show examples

Thus

, owning a

smartphone

can rescue you.

However

people

can get

disadvantage

Fix the agreement mistake

disadvantages

show examples

from

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

.The obvious problem is neglect.

In other words

, when

people

use

the

smartphone

, they like immersing

Correct pronoun usage

themselves into

show examples

into

Change preposition

show examples

the internet,

most

Correct word choice

but most

show examples

things can not take notice of them, which

get

Verb problem

causes

show examples

some

heath

Correct your spelling

health

show examples

problems.

For instance

, in

adolescent

Correct article usage

the adolescent

show examples

age,

people

alway

Correct your spelling

always

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

and keep

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

the

Change the word

their

show examples

pocket

Fix the agreement mistake

pockets

show examples

, Even

use

Verb problem

apply

show examples

when driving, these are reasons have some car accidents because of

careless

Replace the word

their carelessness

show examples

Additionally

, some

people

use

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

at night so much, which causes

myopic

Replace the word

myopia

show examples

and

people

will be not energetic when they go to school.

Hence

, we should be careful when

use

Change the verb form

using

show examples

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

. In conclusion, owning a

smartphone

has both advantages and disadvantages. So, we

nave

Correct your spelling

have

show examples

use

it cleverly and make

smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

turn into

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

good

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Jan 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on constructing a clear introductory paragraph that presents the topic and your thesis statement more prominently, as it currently lacks a strong introduction and conclusion. This will improve the structure of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Improve cohesion by using a range of cohesive devices effectively. The essay needs better transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the arguments seamlessly.

task achievement

Substantiate your main points with more varied and detailed examples. While some examples are present, they could be more specific and relevant to the argument being made.

task achievement

Develop paragraphs fully to explore each main point with greater clarity and depth. Each body paragraph should have a clear main idea, supporting sentences, and a concluding sentence that summarizes the point.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
35
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

237 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

instant access
real-time updates
portable offices
emergency services
social media
navigation
cybersecurity
screen time
digital detox
environmental footprint

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today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today’s world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history. Discuss both views and give your Own opinion.

Some people think that is better to work alone and others think that is better to work in a team. Which do you prefer? Give reasons and details to support your opinion.

Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions To what extent do you agree or disagree