IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

You participated in a public event organized at a local park. Write a letter to the event organizer. In your letter: ● tell them some feedback about the event ● explain what you particularly enjoyed ● give some suggestions for improvement.

#event #park #organizer #feedback #suggestions #improvement
Dear Siz or Madam I am writing to you to attend your party where located in Almalik. I am 17 years old and I student of Bukhara Maktabi. I have been learning here about the organisation of a party for two years. I would be grateful if you
organise
Wrong verb form
organised
show examples
 some activities
such
 as carousels, trains and other games. People would be happy and enjoy it when they use it.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 you can paint different light colours.
For example
 red, blue and green. It looks so enjoyable and attractive.
Besides
, some artists and singers could do interesting and enjoyable with their music. I have some singers.
For instance
 Rayhon Ganiyeva, Shoxruxhon, Xamdam Sobirov. And you can invite some jokers and Sirk artists. I would be happy if you could do my suggestions. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully Jack
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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greeting and closing
Ensure to use a more formal salutation and closing in your letter. 'Dear Sir or Madam' needs to be correctly spelled, and 'Yours faithfully' or 'Yours sincerely' should be used when signing off. This respects the conventions of formal letter writing.
logical structure
Provide a clear introduction, body, and conclusion to establish a logical structure. Each paragraph should introduce a single topic or idea, followed by supporting statements or details, then a conclusion or transition.
single idea per paragraph
Focus on one idea per paragraph to clearly communicate your feedback, enjoyment, and suggestions separately. This will make your letter more coherent and easier for the reader to follow.
complete response
Respond to all parts of the prompt fully. Provide specific feedback about the event, clearly elaborate on what you enjoyed, and offer constructive suggestions for improvement.
suitable writing tone
Adopt a suitable tone for formal writing. Avoid using casual language and maintain formality throughout the letter to match the context of writing to an event organizer.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • event organizer
  • public event
  • local park
  • feedback
  • organized
  • community engagement
  • performances
  • logistical
  • facilities
  • crowd management
  • inclusivity
  • local businesses
  • atmosphere
  • volunteer
  • memorable
  • suggestions for improvement
  • upcoming events
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