Some people believe that it is important for young children to attend school, while others think that they should spend more time with their family at home. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Provide relevant examples and reasons to support your answer.

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The importance of young
children
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attending
school
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is a topic of debate. On one hand, regular
school
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attendance
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has been shown to have a positive impact on student achievement. Consistent
attendance
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in preschool, TK, and kindergarten is particularly important in supporting
children
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's early learning experience and sets the foundation for strong academic performance in the future.
On the other hand
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, some argue that
children
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should spend more
time
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with their family at home.
However
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, chronic absenteeism can have serious implications for later outcomes, including high
school
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dropout rates and negative
behaviors
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behaviours
show examples
. Mental health conditions, like anxiety or depression, are common reasons for absences, and missing just two days a month of
school
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can be a problem for kids. Establishing a daily routine with regular wake-up and bedtime hours can help ensure consistent
attendance
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.
Parents
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should be aware that excused and unexcused absences result in too much
time
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lost in the classroom, and many
children
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miss 10% of a
school
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year, which is almost a month per
school
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year. In my opinion, young
children
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should attend
school
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regularly to ensure they receive a strong education and set a foundation for future success.
However
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, it is important for
parents
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to balance
school
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attendance
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with family
time
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and prioritize their
child
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's mental health and well-being. In conclusion, the importance of early education for young
children
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is evident, as it plays a crucial role in their cognitive, social, emotional, and physical development Regular
school
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attendance
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is essential for setting a strong foundation for future success and ensuring
children
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receive a quality education.
However
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, it is
also
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important for
parents
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to prioritize their
child
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's mental health and well-being by balancing
school
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attendance
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with family
time
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. Chronic absenteeism can have serious implications for
children
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's later outcomes, and
parents
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should be aware of the impact of excused and unexcused absences on their
child
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's academic performance. By establishing a daily routine and maintaining open communication with their
child
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's
school
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,
parents
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can support their
child
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's consistent
attendance
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and
overall
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well-being.
Submitted by mohamedicdl175 on

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task response
The essay partially addresses the prompt, but there is an imbalance in the discussion of both views. More emphasis is placed on supporting school attendance rather than effectively discussing the benefits of spending time with family at home. The conclusion is present, but it could have more effectively reflected the discussion from both perspectives. The writer should aim to discuss both views more equally and provide a conclusion that encapsulates their own opinion with clear justifications.
coherence cohesion
While there is an attempt to structure the essay logically, the transitions between points can be improved for better flow and coherence. The use of cohesive devices is inconsistent, which impairs the reader's ability to follow the writer's line of thought seamlessly. The introduction and conclusion are identifiable but require a clearer thesis statement and summary respectively. To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is connected to the overarching thesis. Use a varied range of cohesive devices to improve linkage.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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