Some people belive that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Urbanisation gives
an adverse hurdles
Correct the article-noun agreement
adverse hurdles
an adverse hurdle

The indefinite article an may not be required with the plural noun hurdles in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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to jungle
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, individuals opine that steps are taken to save the
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
birds
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from
extension
Correct your spelling
extinction

The word extension doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as wild
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life protection
Correct your spelling
Wildlife Protection

The word life protection doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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act
Capitalize word
Act

The word act should be capitalized in this context.

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,
opening
Add an article
the opening

The noun phrase opening seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos

It seems that zoo may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,and education among citizens. I concur with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

phenomenon. I will discuss my reasons in the upcoming paragraphs. The first reason is
application
Add an article
the application
an application

The noun phrase application seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of wild
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

life protection
Correct your spelling
Wildlife Protection

The word life protection doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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act
Capitalize word
Act

The word act should be capitalized in this context.

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. The government had imposed many act's whose main motive
is
Wrong verb form
was

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb is. Consider changing it.

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to save the
saffari
Correct your spelling
safari

If you don’t want saffari to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

were killed
from
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a long time for pleasure and food. Which can cause
extension
Correct article usage
the extension

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of many spices.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in India,
from
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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past
Correct article usage
the past

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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couple of years number of
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

killed by humans
are
Verb problem
has

There may be a verb use issue here.

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drastically
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb decrease. Consider changing it.

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due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the fines and legal action taken by public authorities.
In addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
zoo's
Change noun form
zoos

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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are in every city, where
lion
Fix the agreement mistake
lions

It seems that lion may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
tiger
Fix the agreement mistake
tigers

It seems that tiger may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
monkey
Fix the agreement mistake
monkeys

It seems that monkey may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
pigeon
Fix the agreement mistake
pigeons

It seems that pigeon may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,and parrots are kept
securly
Correct your spelling
securely

If you don’t want securly to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. They are taken care
by
Change preposition
of by

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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trained employees.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

great
intitative
Correct your spelling
initiative

If you don’t want intitative to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

leads to safe shelter and food for all those wild
inhabitats
Correct your spelling
inhabitants

If you don’t want inhabitats to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. It leads to
safe guarding
Correct your spelling
safeguarding

The word safe guarding seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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their
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Additionally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the newspaper, internet ,and television play
vital
Add an article
a vital

The noun phrase vital role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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role in educating people. Advertisements are
showns
Correct your spelling
shown
shows

If you don’t want showns to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere

The word every where seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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which state the importance of
ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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and if
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

chain
broken
Add the auxiliary verb
is broken

The past participle verb broken has been used without an auxiliary verb. Consider adding one or using the past simple instead.

show examples
what are the negative effects to our environment. Schools
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

teach
kids'
Change noun form
kids

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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the benefits of
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
birds
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. eventually, the purpose
to spread
Change preposition
of spreading

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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knowledge is handled by every
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun individuals. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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only to maintain a balance in
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem
an ecosystem

The noun phrase ecosystem seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, modernatisation damages
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and
birds
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a higher extent many
birds
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like
dudo
Correct article usage
the dudo

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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already gone but I firmly agree that, there are great
intitatives
Correct your spelling
initiatives

If you don’t want intitatives to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

taken by
government
Correct article usage
the government

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
and media whose main motive
to
Add a missing verb
is to

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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spread
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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education to protect our jungle.

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Task Achievement
To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt by providing a clear position throughout the response. Offer detailed explanations and relevant examples to back up your points. Stay focused on the topic without digressing, and ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea with proper development.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, work on the logical flow and organization of your essay. Your paragraphs should be well-structured with clear topic sentences. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately. Avoid repetition of ideas and aim for paragraph unity where each sentence contributes to the development of the main point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • conservation
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • extinction
  • wildlife tourism
  • resource allocation
  • habitats
  • sustainable development
  • environmental education
  • charismatic species
  • international collaboration
  • invasive species
  • poaching
  • endangered/threatened
  • conservation efforts
  • wildlife management
  • conservation biology
  • ecological balance
  • species preservation
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • animal welfare
  • ecotourism
  • genetic diversity
  • natural heritage
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