Some people belive that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #belive #resources #attention #protection #animals #birds

Urbanisation gives

an adverse hurdles

Correct the article-noun agreement

adverse hurdles

an adverse hurdle

show examples

to jungle

life

However

, individuals opine that steps are taken to save the

animals

and

birds

from

extension

Correct your spelling

extinction

show examples

such

as wild

life protection

Correct your spelling

Wildlife Protection

show examples

act

Capitalize word

Act

show examples

opening

Add an article

the opening

show examples

zoo

Fix the agreement mistake

zoos

show examples

,and education among citizens. I concur with

this

phenomenon. I will discuss my reasons in the upcoming paragraphs. The first reason is

application

Add an article

the application

an application

show examples

of wild

life protection

Correct your spelling

Wildlife Protection

show examples

act

Capitalize word

Act

show examples

. The government had imposed many act's whose main motive

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

to save the

saffari

Correct your spelling

safari

life

Animals

were killed

from

Change preposition

for

show examples

a long time for pleasure and food. Which can cause

extension

Correct article usage

the extension

show examples

of many spices.

For instance

, in India,

from

Change preposition

show examples

past

Correct article usage

the past

show examples

couple of years number of

animals

killed by humans

are

Verb problem

has

show examples

drastically

decrease

Wrong verb form

decreased

show examples

due to

the fines and legal action taken by public authorities.

In addition

this

zoo's

Change noun form

zoos

show examples

are in every city, where

lion

Fix the agreement mistake

lions

show examples

tiger

Fix the agreement mistake

tigers

show examples

monkey

Fix the agreement mistake

monkeys

show examples

pigeon

Fix the agreement mistake

pigeons

show examples

,and parrots are kept

securly

Correct your spelling

securely

. They are taken care

Change preposition

of by

show examples

trained employees.

Hence

this

great

intitative

Correct your spelling

initiative

leads to safe shelter and food for all those wild

inhabitats

Correct your spelling

inhabitants

. It leads to

safe guarding

Correct your spelling

safeguarding

show examples

their

life

Additionally

, the newspaper, internet ,and television play

vital

Add an article

a vital

show examples

role in educating people. Advertisements are

showns

Correct your spelling

shown

shows

every where

Correct your spelling

everywhere

show examples

which state the importance of

ecosystem

Correct article usage

the ecosystem

show examples

and if

this

chain

broken

Add the auxiliary verb

is broken

show examples

what are the negative effects to our environment. Schools

also

teach

kids'

Change noun form

kids

show examples

the benefits of

animals

and

birds

. eventually, the purpose

to spread

Change preposition

of spreading

show examples

knowledge is handled by every

individuals

Change to a singular noun

individual

show examples

only to maintain a balance in

ecosystem

Add an article

the ecosystem

an ecosystem

show examples

To sum up

, modernatisation damages

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

animals

and

birds

Change preposition

show examples

a higher extent many

birds

dudo

Correct article usage

the dudo

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

already gone but I firmly agree that, there are great

intitatives

Correct your spelling

initiatives

taken by

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

and media whose main motive

Add a missing verb

is to

show examples

spread

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

education to protect our jungle.

Submitted by kb781920 on Tue Jan 09 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses the prompt by providing a clear position throughout the response. Offer detailed explanations and relevant examples to back up your points. Stay focused on the topic without digressing, and ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea with proper development.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve Coherence and Cohesion, work on the logical flow and organization of your essay. Your paragraphs should be well-structured with clear topic sentences. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately. Avoid repetition of ideas and aim for paragraph unity where each sentence contributes to the development of the main point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
44Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

conservation
biodiversity
ecosystem
extinction
wildlife tourism
resource allocation
habitats
sustainable development
environmental education
charismatic species
international collaboration
invasive species
poaching
endangered/threatened
conservation efforts
wildlife management
conservation biology
ecological balance
species preservation
wildlife sanctuary
animal welfare
ecotourism
genetic diversity
natural heritage

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Some people belive that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree.

The leaders or directors of organizations are often elderly people. However, some say that young people can also take the lead of organizations or companies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

n the past, lectures were used as a way of teaching large numbers of students, but now with the development of technology for education, many people think there is no justification for attending lectures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people feel that entertainers (eg film stars, pop musicians or sports stars) are paid too much money. Do you agree or disagree? Which other types of jobs should be highly paid?