some people think that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for a country while others disagree. Do the advantages of hosting major sporting events outweigh the disadvantages?

Todays
Change to a genitive case
Today's
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generation shows more interest in the sports game
instead
of watching other shows. some individuals believe that inviting other
country
sports
team
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teams
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for sporting
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
is more beneficial but at the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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others think that it is not a good idea to host international sporting
event
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events
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in our
country
To begin
with,
hosting
Correct article usage
the hosting
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country
will generate revenue by attracting numerous tourists who have
keen
Add an article
a keen
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interest in sports and
along with
the
country
, other small businesses will
also
get
Verb problem
apply
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benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
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by selling basic necessities
such
as food,
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
and
also
travel facilities.
In addition
to
this
, it will become
the
Correct article usage
an
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entertainment source for many, as people are living so busy life and do not get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
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to see
such
entertainment
events
where they can release their stress.
however
,
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
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of
events
will help them to enjoy some of their life moments.
Furthermore
, it
also
has some drawbacks as in these big
events
people disturb the daily life activities of
local
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locals
show examples
- traffic become the major
problems
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problem
show examples
and they cannot go to work on time and
also
crowd
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crowds
show examples
will make the city dirty by throwing garbage on the streets.
To sum up
,
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
will get financial profit and provide a source of enjoyment to the people so, the pros of hosting special sporting
events
outweigh the cons.
Submitted by jaspreet702kaur on

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task achievement
The introduction does not clearly state your position on the topic. It's important to make your stance clear in response to the essay question.
task achievement
The essay lacks a clear overview and thesis statement in the introduction. To improve, include a sentence that outlines the main advantages and disadvantages you will discuss.
task achievement
You need to develop your arguments more fully. The advantages and disadvantages mentioned are not explored in depth with specific details or examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay lacks clear and logical transitions between points and paragraphs. To achieve coherence, use cohesive devices and clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Avoid general statements - both your introduction and conclusion should reflect the specific content of your essay and your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
It's essential that you expand on your main points by using examples and explanations to support your arguments, giving the reader a clear understanding of your reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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