some people think that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for a country while others disagree. Do the advantages of hosting major sporting events outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #event #country #events

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Todays

Change to a genitive case

Today's

show examples

generation shows more interest in the sports game

instead

of watching other shows. some individuals believe that inviting other

country

sports

team

Fix the agreement mistake

teams

show examples

for sporting

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

is more beneficial but at the same

time

Add a comma

time,

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others think that it is not a good idea to host international sporting

event

Fix the agreement mistake

events

show examples

in our

country

To begin

with,

hosting

Correct article usage

the hosting

show examples

country

will generate revenue by attracting numerous tourists who have

keen

Add an article

a keen

show examples

interest in sports and

along with

the

country

, other small businesses will

also

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

benefited

Wrong verb form

benefit

show examples

by selling basic necessities

such

as food,

accomodation

Correct your spelling

accommodation

and

also

travel facilities.

In addition

this

, it will become

the

Correct article usage

show examples

entertainment source for many, as people are living so busy life and do not get

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to see

such

entertainment

events

where they can release their stress.

however

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

show examples

events

will help them to enjoy some of their life moments.

Furthermore

, it

also

has some drawbacks as in these big

events

people disturb the daily life activities of

local

Fix the agreement mistake

locals

show examples

- traffic become the major

problems

Fix the agreement mistake

problem

show examples

and they cannot go to work on time and

also

crowd

Fix the agreement mistake

crowds

show examples

will make the city dirty by throwing garbage on the streets.

To sum up

country

Add an article

the country

show examples

will get financial profit and provide a source of enjoyment to the people so, the pros of hosting special sporting

events

outweigh the cons.

Submitted by jaspreet702kaur on Wed Jan 10 2024

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task achievement

The introduction does not clearly state your position on the topic. It's important to make your stance clear in response to the essay question.

task achievement

The essay lacks a clear overview and thesis statement in the introduction. To improve, include a sentence that outlines the main advantages and disadvantages you will discuss.

task achievement

You need to develop your arguments more fully. The advantages and disadvantages mentioned are not explored in depth with specific details or examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay lacks clear and logical transitions between points and paragraphs. To achieve coherence, use cohesive devices and clear topic sentences for each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

Avoid general statements - both your introduction and conclusion should reflect the specific content of your essay and your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

It's essential that you expand on your main points by using examples and explanations to support your arguments, giving the reader a clear understanding of your reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

216 words

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some people think that hosting an international sporting event is beneficial for a country while others disagree. Do the advantages of hosting major sporting events outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outwigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful ti individuals and to society. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Some museums and art galleries charge admission fees, while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of free admission outweigh the disadvantages?