IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that pupils should be given less homework, others say the opposite. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #pupils #homework
People hold different views about giving assignments to teenagers.
While
 there are some positive aspects to reducing school assignments, I believe that providing work is more beneficial than. There are several reasons to explain why
this
 trend has advantages. One of them is doing homework that allows children to review the lesson and open their knowledge. That assignment will help people to learn more things about knowledge their teacher did not teach them in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
class, and they can approach numerous pieces of information which can benefit them truly.
Furthermore
, doing school work is one of the ways for parents to limit their children playing video games or using smartphones. In
this
 day and age, teenagers tend to spend all of their day for a long time sitting down and seeing the screen. In the long run that leads to a habit of sedentary lifestyles which is the cause of an overweight, sluggish body and eye issue.
In addition
, the advantages of giving homework allow juveniles to spend more time with their family.
For instance
, parents spend time
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teaching and guiding their children to do exercise which will create a good relationship and connect family members.
This
 is
also
 one way of helping build relationships with their loved ones. In conclusion, my view is that educators should provide homework to pupils
due to
 the fact it will not only help them to connect with their families but
also
avoid
Verb problem
prevent
show examples
 them from getting distracted by technology.
Submitted by khanhlinh892002 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis statement. The conclusion should effectively summarize the main points of the essay, confirming your personal stance on the issue.
Coherence and Cohesion
You should structure your essay in a logical manner, ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use a range of linking words and phrases to help the text flow better.
Task Response
Use specific examples to support your ideas and arguments, ensuring that they are relevant to the question. Avoid general statements by providing clear evidence for your points.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: