IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The internet will never replace traditional course books in schools. How far do you agree with this predictions?

#internet #course #books #schools #predictions
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In
this
 digital era, many people believe that the traditional class system will never be replaced by technological textbooks,
while
 others do not think so. I partially agree with
this
anticipations
Fix the agreement mistake
anticipation
show examples
 and will describe my opinions with relevant examples in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with
this
 statement, a
numerous
Correct word choice
large
show examples
 number of students still prefer
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
pedagogical practices rather than E-learning.
In addition
, conventional teaching methods are based on not only
rote-learning
Correct your spelling
rote learning
show examples
 but
also
 formal educational systems.
As a consequence
, they are the
proofs
Fix the agreement mistake
proof
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 progression of academic performances,
as well as
 educational achievements among populations. One more point, in old school literature,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
consists of pursuing syllabus by teacher-led lessons and can create
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong communication between schooling ages and teachers.
For instance
, group work or discussion sessions
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 essential for school projects with continuous assessment.
On the other hand
,
although
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 has a lot of advantages and disadvantages in society, it plays a crucial role in education in
contemporary
Correct article usage
the contemporary
show examples
 day
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the past decades.
Hence
, the majority of scholars utilize for some homework or self-study and
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today.
However
, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational institutions are using
this
 type of traditional
assessments
Fix the agreement mistake
assessment
show examples
 in
further
 and higher education. To sum it up, in my perspective, despite some young generations
fond
Add a missing verb
being fond
show examples
 of studying with innovative technology, it can be substituted
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 conventional course books because of its
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 and abilities in academics
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
nowadays.
Submitted by thurasoe1992.ac on

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Task Achievement
The essay presents ideas that are relevant to the question posed; however, that relevance is not always explicitly clear. To meet a high standard in task achievement, ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt and clearly outlines how each point links back to the main argument or question.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the essay maintains an adequate logical structure with an introduction and conclusion, the coherence could be improved by enhancing the logical flow between ideas. For coherence and cohesion, aim to use a wide range of linking words and clearly define paragraphs to encapsulate single ideas or arguments. Additionally, referencing earlier points in the conclusion could strengthen cohesion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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