Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#punishment #death #penalty #lives #crimes #violence #control #society

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None of the countries are around the world safe from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crime and have overwhelmed people.In order to reduce the crime , it is suggested that the death penalty.I

completly

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completely

disagree with that because

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think they should given another chance to live in the world. In

this

Linking Words

era, many offences are prohibited in some countries

such

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as assaulting,

assassmenting

Correct your spelling

assassin

,mobile snatching etc and they penalize them to death for

these kind

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this kind

these kinds

show examples

of sins.But from my perspective ,they should be given another chance to live in society.

For example

Linking Words

,if someone is

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a street

show examples

street

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a street

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criminal and

they

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apply

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snatches

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a mobile

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mobile

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a mobile

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or wallet they should be put in prison for some

Fix the agreement mistake

years

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year

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years

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so they will realize what they have done and will not commit it again.

Additionaly

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Additionally

, it is the foremost responsibility of parents to teach their children what is wrong and what is right.If they see their

childrens

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children

show examples

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apply

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betrayed they should teach them where to go and what to do.

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show examples

personally have seen that in my childhood ,one of my peers visited

market

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the market

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with me ,she stole some fruits and

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the shopkeepere

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shopkeepere

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shopkeeper

shopkeepers

scolded her and complained to her parents, They

teach

Wrong verb form

taught

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them not to do

again

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it again

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and she never

reapeats

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repeated

it. In

coclusion

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conclusion

, the penalty of death should not be

significant

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a significant

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punishment to control the suspects ,

however

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other important role

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another important role

other important roles

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should be applied in society to overcome

this

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issue.

Submitted by shubhampatel19021 on Wed Jan 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction does not clearly present the topic or your position on the death penalty, leading to a lack of clarity and coherence. Additionally, your conclusion is simplistic and does not effectively summarize your main points or restate your stance.

coherence cohesion

Throughout the essay, your ideas lack clear progression and logical sequencing. Paragraphs need to have clear topic sentences and subsequent sentences that expand on the topic coherently. Transitions between sentences and ideas should be more fluid to guide the reader through your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your argument against capital punishment is not substantiated with strong or varied examples and evidence. You should develop your main points further, providing a more in-depth analysis and wider range of examples to support your position.

task achievement

The essay fails to fully address the prompt as it does not consider the viewpoint that capital punishment may have a role in controlling violence. A higher score requires a more balanced discussion or a clearer argument supporting your disagreement, with relevant examples.

task achievement

Your essay does not present a clear or comprehensive response to the question. Ideas are presented somewhat abruptly and conclusions are drawn without thorough explanation or supporting detail.

task achievement

Your use of an anecdote about childhood theft is a good attempt at providing a specific example, but this alone is not robust enough to develop your argument against the death penalty. More relevant examples with direct links to the severity of crimes deserving the death penalty would strengthen your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

227 words

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Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Compared to past, more people are now trying to learn a foreign language to increase their chances of landing a better job in their native country or to have better opportunities to work abroad. To what extent do you agree with this point of view?

Write about the following topic. The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?