Without capital punishment (the death penalty) our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
None of the countries are around the world safe from
the
crime and have overwhelmed people.In order to reduce the crime , it is suggested that the death penalty.I Correct article usage
apply
completly
disagree with that because Correct your spelling
completely
i
think they should given another chance to live in the world.
In Change the capitalization
I
this
era, many offences are prohibited in some countries such
as assaulting,assassmenting
,mobile snatching etc and they penalize them to death for Correct your spelling
assassin
these kind
of sins.But from my perspective ,they should be given another chance to live in society.Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
For example
,if someone is Correct article usage
a street
street
criminal and Correct article usage
a street
they
snatches Correct pronoun usage
apply
Correct article usage
a mobile
mobile
or wallet they should be put in prison for some Correct article usage
a mobile
Fix the agreement mistake
years
year
so they will realize what they have done and will not commit it again.
Fix the agreement mistake
years
Additionaly
, it is the foremost responsibility of parents to teach their children what is wrong and what is right.If they see their Correct your spelling
Additionally
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
to
betrayed they should teach them where to go and what to do.
Change preposition
apply
i
personally have seen that in my childhood ,one of my peers visited Change the capitalization
I
market
with me ,she stole some fruits and Add an article
the market
Correct article usage
the shopkeepere
shopkeepere
scolded her and complained to her parents, They Correct your spelling
shopkeeper
shopkeepers
teach
them not to do Wrong verb form
taught
again
and she never Correct pronoun usage
it again
reapeats
it.
In Correct your spelling
repeated
coclusion
, the penalty of death should not be Correct your spelling
conclusion
significant
punishment to control the suspects , Correct article usage
a significant
however
,other important role
should be applied in society to overcome Change the wording
another important role
other important roles
this
issue.Submitted by shubhampatel19021 on
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction does not clearly present the topic or your position on the death penalty, leading to a lack of clarity and coherence. Additionally, your conclusion is simplistic and does not effectively summarize your main points or restate your stance.
coherence cohesion
Throughout the essay, your ideas lack clear progression and logical sequencing. Paragraphs need to have clear topic sentences and subsequent sentences that expand on the topic coherently. Transitions between sentences and ideas should be more fluid to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your argument against capital punishment is not substantiated with strong or varied examples and evidence. You should develop your main points further, providing a more in-depth analysis and wider range of examples to support your position.
task achievement
The essay fails to fully address the prompt as it does not consider the viewpoint that capital punishment may have a role in controlling violence. A higher score requires a more balanced discussion or a clearer argument supporting your disagreement, with relevant examples.
task achievement
Your essay does not present a clear or comprehensive response to the question. Ideas are presented somewhat abruptly and conclusions are drawn without thorough explanation or supporting detail.
task achievement
Your use of an anecdote about childhood theft is a good attempt at providing a specific example, but this alone is not robust enough to develop your argument against the death penalty. More relevant examples with direct links to the severity of crimes deserving the death penalty would strengthen your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.