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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the future, all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people traveling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driverless #people #vehicles #passengers
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In the days to come, driverless
vehicles
 like cars, buses, and trucks are to be expected as technologies rapidly grow. Undoubtedly, autonomous
vehicles
 can be beneficial, but I believe that the potential harm is bigger than the benefits they offer. Talking about
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
, not having to drive is definitely a win for some as driving can be so exhausting, especially for buses and trucks that are usually used for a long roadway drive.
Hence
, the existence of driverless
vehicles
 can result in fewer human error incidents
such
 as accidents that are caused by a reckless, sleepy or even drunk driver. Other than that, It can
also
 contribute to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
more productivity in terms of time. We can take the LRT
for example
 as the system is all operated by machines. LRT is so timely based and there is no tolerance for those who are late because the doors are automatically closed, unlike buses that are still operated by humans. Even though they have their benefits, I would argue that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits. The first thing
that is
 going to happen is that workers are going to lose their jobs because so many people are employed as drivers and losing their main source of income could affect them in every aspect, mainly economically. Another thing would be injury, even though it can produce next to zero human error.
For instance
, if there is a machine error, the injury that it might cause is much more serious as there is no human to control it.
And
Correct word choice
Last
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last
 but not least, autonomous
vehicles
 require much higher costs for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
maintenance and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
 to be supervised before
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
operates
Correct subject-verb agreement
operate
show examples
.
To conclude
, in my perspective, the potential dangers of autonomous
vehicles
 are much more significant than the advantages it has.
Submitted by elissa223 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement is provided which outlines the direction of your essay in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide a balanced view with equal discussion on both advantages and disadvantages, rather than heavily leaning towards one side without sufficient explanation on the other.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points and elaborate on the implications these examples have on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clearer linking strategy between ideas and paragraphs using a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words.
coherence cohesion
End your essay with a stronger conclusion summarising the main points and clearly stating your position to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Increase the depth of your main points by adding more detail, explanation, or by expanding on the initial point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
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