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Band 4

Some people feel that we should protect all wild animals. Other people think that only some wild animals should be protected. Discuss both points of view and give your opinon.

#people #animals #points #opinon
people have different views about
whether
Change preposition
apply
show examples
protecting all wild
animals
. From my perspective, I contend that we should protect endangered wild
animals
instead
 of all the species.
To begin
 with, all the
animals
 have their own value.
On the other hand
 ,people have different views about whether protecting all wild
animals
. From my perspective, I contend that we should protect endangered wild
animals
instead
 of all the species. In a nutshell, I think
Submitted by xianghuikong2023 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay does not properly address the topic with a clear structure, and the introduction and conclusion are both incomplete and lacking clarity. You have repeated the same introductory sentence twice, which does not contribute to a logically structured argument or essay. It is imperative to develop a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion to construct a cohesive response.
task achievement
The task response is incomplete. You have repeated the same point without expanding on either view or giving a clear opinion. It is essential to fully explore both sides of the argument as the prompt requires, and provide specific examples to support your points. Additionally, ensure that your essay has a clear opinion that is maintained throughout the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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