In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owing a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?
n
Correct your spelling
In
this
day and age, some individuals have their own mobile phones. This
author argues that the benefits of contact with people
who live far away and the ability to entertain and various functions outweigh the drawbacks of a lack of communication between people
and people
.
The most advantageous factor of having a smartphone
is that it can help people
easily access to keep in touch and interact with other people
although
they live far away or long distances. Smartphones
can easily save all the phone numbers so that when they need to call , they just also
need to use the smartphone
. For example
, pupils who study abroad need to contact their family, they just need to utilize their phone to interact with their family, they can see the image and listen to their parent's
voices immediately Change noun form
parents'
instead
of sending the letter a few months ago parents can also
receive that, it wastes too much time and also
can be unavoidable some accidents during the process of transforming the letter.
The other benefit of possessing a smartphone
is that the smartphone
is a tool which solves people
's desires and demands. With smartphones
, people
can search for everything they need on Google, they can conduct everything they want, and entertain themselves, it is also
convenient for them to bring the smartphone
everywhere . Listening to music everywhere instead
of using stereo, watching movies on a smartphone
instead
of television. Take reading ebooks as an example, instead
of carrying heavy or inconvenient books everywhere and every time, they just also
need to bring a small smartphone
to read their book.
However
, everything also
has a two-edged sword, so besides
some of the benefits that it brings to people
, it also
has drawbacks, using smartphones
too much leads to addiction and a lack of communication between people
and people
. Instead
of speaking with each other, people
these days tend to be isolated and use smartphones
to chat with their friends. This
problem becomes worse and worse when people
become dependent on their smartphones
and do not focus on everything surrounding them. For example
, in the past when people
observed someone get accident
, they would assist them, but in the modern age, they Add an article
an accident
turned
a blind eye to them and they just Wrong verb form
turn
paid
attention to their Wrong verb form
pay
smartphones
. If this
problem still continues, the distance between people
and people
might become longer and longer. From that, it leads to a ''ruthless'' society.
In conclusion, possessing own smartphone
can have disadvantages, but the benefits that people
receive from them tend to outweigh the drawbacks. However
, people
need to stop using smartphones
and not depend on them too much.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize ideas logically, but there are areas where the flow of information could be improved for better coherence. Try to use a variety of cohesive devices and paragraph structures to enhance the logical progression of thoughts.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present, they could be more effectively articulated to provide a clearer framework for the essay. Make sure that the introduction clearly outlines the forthcoming points, and that the conclusion succinctly summarizes the key arguments made.
coherence cohesion
You've provided support for your main points, but the development of these points could be more thorough to strengthen your argument. Aim to elaborate on each point with more detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided a response to the topic. To achieve a higher score, ensure the response thoroughly covers all aspects of the prompt, demonstrates a clear position throughout, and develops the response with a greater range of ideas and examples.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant, but clarity and depth are needed to create a more comprehensive response. Aim to express your thoughts with precision and develop each idea fully before moving on to the next.
task achievement
Relevant examples are used, but they could be more specific and detailed to effectively illustrate your points. Include concrete examples and elaborate on them to enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?