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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree whit this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages #whit
There is no denying that
music
 has brought connections from various
cultures
 among individuals. Some
people
 believe that
music
 is not a good approach to bringing
people
 of diverse
cultures
 and
ages
 with each other,
while
 some other
people
 reject the notion.
This
 essay will
further
 elaborate my views for
favoring
Change the spelling
favouring
show examples
 the impacts and
thus
, will lead to a logical conclusion. On the one hand,
music
 is a universal language that can make effective communication among
people
 or nations. We have always seen that
people
 from different
cultures
, languages,
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
, and backgrounds show interest in
a
Remove the article
music
a piece of music
show examples
music
 or even a singer as they listen to the melody regardless of what its language is.
For instance
, Enrique Iglesias has millions of fans from different generations all over the world even though lots of listeners do not understand what he says.
On the other hand
, individuals
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different
ages
 and with different tastes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
music
 cannot agree on listening to a specific
music
. Younger generations are interested in listening to pop or RAP
music
while
 elderly
people
 prefer listening to traditional or even instrumental
music
.
This
 can be one of the main reasons that we are not able to consider
music
 as a good way
for bringing
Change preposition
to bring
show examples
people
 from different
cultures
 and
ages
.
For example
, my sister is
interested
Rephrase
so interested
show examples
 in R&B
music
 that I can barely stand for one hour
while
 I am interested in listening to classical
music
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
my sister
detests
Correct pronoun usage
detests it
show examples
. In conclusion, considering both sides of the subject, I am inclined to believe that
music
 can be considered a great way
for connecting
Change preposition
to connect
show examples
people
 and nations
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different
ages
, but we should not forget that, there are lots of other ways
for making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
 these connections stronger.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear logical structure. Use clear paragraphing to separate your points and present your ideas in a logical order.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are essential. Ensure you have a clear thesis statement in the introduction and a summarizing conclusion that echoes your main arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples. Each paragraph should be centered around one main idea and followed by illustrations or examples to substantiate your views.
Task Achievement
Ensure you fully respond to the task by addressing all parts of the prompt. Whether you agree or disagree, make it clear and maintain a consistent stance throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas comprehensively. Expand on your thoughts with explanations and examples that add depth to your argument.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to make your argument more convincing. Examples should be relevant to the point you are making and help illustrate your argument effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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