In many countries, the number of people suffering from stress in the workplace is increasing. What do you think are the causes of this problem and what measures could be taken to tackle it?

Reports of citizens of many countries worldwide battling with
stress
are on the increase. The main cause of
this
stems from our hectic modern lifestyles and busy
work
schedules, which often leave little time for social and family life.
However
, a number of solutions can be implemented by companies and governments to combat
this
. Arguably, one of the main causes of
stress
in modern life originates in the long working
hours
workplaces demand of us.
This
is
due to
an increase in competitiveness in business,
coupled with
falling employment levels in numerous countries, resulting in individuals finding it necessary to
work
longer
hours
to support a family, with higher expectations from superiors than ever before.
Furthermore
, the onset of a digital world has meant that many
employees
spend weekends and evenings at home catching up on
work
and answering emails.
As a consequence
, working citizens find time devoted to family, social life and hobbies suffers, leading to feelings of inadequacy and guilt, and rising
stress
levels. Various solutions to combat these problems could be implemented, both by workplaces and by governments.
Firstly
, workplaces should be encouraged to offer their workforce the opportunity to telecommute or
work
flexible working
hours
, enabling the
work
-life balance to be more easily managed. Not only would
this
be advantageous for
employees
, but companies could
also
benefit from the increased productivity of
employees
who are happier and more alert.
Secondly
,
in addition
to the aforementioned point being an area which may require governmental regulation or help to establish, the state should reconsider laws regarding maximum working
hours
and offer financial aid to families.
This
would ensure the wellbeing of not only
employees
,
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apply
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but
additionally
their families, boosting the importance of family values and protecting the next generation from the burdens of
such
stress
. In conclusion, the widespread nature of
high
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high-stress
show examples
stress
levels clearly shows some action needs to be taken to address the problem in the workplace. As both companies and governments regulate working conditions and laws, they should take action to amend these to benefit the nation and its families.
Submitted by d.karan on

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Task Response: While you have addressed both parts of the prompt, it could be made clearer what specific examples support your points. Adding more varied examples or further details could enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay is logically structured and easy to follow. However, using more varied transitional words and phrases can improve the natural flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and Conclusion: The essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the issue and offers a concise conclusion that reiterates the main points without redundancy. This helps frame the argument well.
coherence cohesion
Supported Main Points: The essay provides well-supported main points with explanations. The balance between causes and solutions is well-maintained, which adds depth to the argument.
task achievement
Clear, Comprehensive Ideas: Your ideas are clearly articulated and easy to understand, making it straightforward for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Relevant Examples: The examples and explanations you give are relevant to the points you are making, helping to illustrate and support your arguments effectively.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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