Some people believe that violent films are bad for you and encourage people to be violent. Others argue that violence and films are unrelated because violence existed before films. Which of these opinions do you agree with, and to what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

It is true that some
people
assumed
Wrong verb form
assume
show examples
that violent
films
should be cancelled because of the bad impact, and others think that these
films
are not bad
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
violence
existed before it. Personally, I agree that violent
films
can not make
people
violent. On the one hand, sometimes violent
films
can be too cruel or even unrealistic and children, for
instants
Replace the word
instance
show examples
, might be attracted by it. They do not understand anything in
this
world and if parents
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
not explain to them that
violence
is bad, they can copy
this
type of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
and use it in real life. Even some of the adult
people
are not be
Change the verb form
are not
show examples
able to watch these
films
,
due to
the bad sleep after that.
People
have
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
to watch violent
films
for to not watch
if
Correct pronoun usage
them if
show examples
they do not want to, but all of them must understand that
violence
is wrong.
However
, there are some cases when
people
start to act
cruel
Change the word
cruelly
show examples
in real life.
On the other hand
,
films
about real
violence
that keep happening in the world
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
to be seen.
People
should know about what happens and
this
is why directors make
this
type of
movies
Fix the agreement mistake
movie
show examples
. Violent
films
also
can teach children that it is bad and make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society even worse. Obviously, not all kids will think about it right, but adults should just
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
talk with them, because
hide
Wrong verb form
hiding
show examples
it from children is not good for them. Every person can be scared, and it is
normal
Add an article
a normal
show examples
reaction, but everyone should know about
violence
that existed before
this
films
Fix the agreement mistake
film
show examples
. In conclusion, I agree with
statement
Add an article
the statement
show examples
that
violence
existed before
films
and
people
cannot be affected by it
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because
this type
Fix the agreement mistake
these types
show examples
of movies are
filming
Wrong verb form
filmed
show examples
to teach
people
how they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not allowed to act.
Submitted by ronadeclaro on

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coherence cohesion
Work on developing a clear structure to your essay with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should address a specific part of the prompt with clear main ideas and more developed supporting arguments and examples.
task achievement
In the introduction, rephrase the prompt to clearly state the topic, and then provide a thesis statement that outlines your view. Your body paragraphs need to support your thesis with clear topic sentences and examples. The conclusion should restate your position and summarize your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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