In today's world, many people own a smarrtphone.Do you think the advantages of using a smartphones outwiegh the disadvantages?

In today's digital age,many
people
have a smartphone.
This
author argues that the benefits of self-studying and communicating conveniently outweigh the drawbacks of being addicted to
smartphones
Firstly
,
smartphones
bring plenty of benefits for students. By using
smartphones
students can learn
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
their own pace, and
this
helps them develop their studies more effectively.
Moreover
, they can learn everywhere and anytime when they learn on
smartphones
.
This
device
also
helps them save
time
, because they can learn at home,
instead
of going to the teaching centre.
For instance
, during COVID-19,
people
could go out, so they used their own
smartphones
to learn and work at home.
Secondly
,
smartphones
also
help
people
communicate with each other more easily and conveniently.
For instance
, when
people
go out, they often bring their phones with them, so that they can call someone when they need help.
Moreover
, in the past, when
people
wanted to talk with others, they had to write a letter and wait for a long
time
to get a response. But now,
due to
smartphones
, they can chat with each other more easily and faster.
However
, owning a smartphone makes
people
depend on it.
Smartphones
have a lot of convenient things, and
this
helps
people
save their
time
and do their work more easily, so when
people
own
smartphones
, they usually spend all their
time
on them.
This
leads to addiction to
smartphones
which
also
affects their health. In conclusion, owning
smartphones
brings a lot of benefits
such
as helping
people
communicate and study more easily which outweigh the drawbacks of being addicted to it.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and your arguments should progress logically from one to the next. Transitions between ideas can be smoother.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should be clear and concise, mirroring each other in terms of the points raised. Make sure to rephrase your thesis statement in the conclusion without repeating it word-for-word from the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each main point in your body paragraphs is supported by specific examples or evidence. Broad statements should be avoided in favor of concrete examples that demonstrate your point.
task achievement
Your essay should respond to all parts of the task. Clearly present your opinion and discuss both advantages and disadvantages in a balanced manner, making sure to explain why one outweighs the other.
task achievement
Your ideas should be clear and easily understood, with comprehensive explanations that demonstrate how they relate to the topic. Avoid overly complex sentences that might confuse the reader or make your argument less clear.
task achievement
Include relevant, specific examples that support your points. These examples should be detailed enough to illustrate your argument effectively, showing a direct connection to the topic and your perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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