More and more people work from home or study from home with the development of computer technology. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

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Technology makes communication
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
easier nowadays. From using letters to using e-mail, at
the
Correct article usage
apply
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present
Add a comma
present,
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we can talk with other people face-to-face through the
screen
. And from that fact, the concept of
work
Wrong verb form
working
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from
home
and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
from
home
are
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is
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born. In
this
essay
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essay,
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I will discuss
about
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apply
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whether these concepts are good or bad. First of all, even after the COVID-19 pandemic ended, many companies still have been having their employee
work
from
home
. Working from
home
has many good points.
For example
, you don't have to
stuck
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be stuck
show examples
in traffic going to
work
or coming back
home
since you
work
at your house.
Moreover
, the
work
environment may become more
relax
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relaxed
show examples
because you are in your own room.
Furthermore
, it is the same for students
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
study
from
home
. Because they don't have to wake up early to get
dress
Wrong verb form
dressed
show examples
and commute to school, they will be more happy. Teaching through the online meeting program,
teacher
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the teacher
show examples
often records the video of the lecture, so that
student
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students
show examples
can revise on their own. In spite of the fact that
work
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working
show examples
from
home
and
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
from
home
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
many good points.
There're
Correct your spelling
There are
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also
drawbacks. When working or studying from
home
, unless you turn on your webcam ,other
persons
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people
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won't know what you are doing. So somebody might
doing
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do
be doing
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something
such
as playing video games, eating
snack
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snacks
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, or sleeping ,
in stead
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instead
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of working or studying.
In addition
to
this
disadvantage, it's harder for you to focus on your task because you can do anything
while
looking at the
screen
and pretending to listen. There's
also
a limit that you can interact with other people through the
screen
. In conclusion, there are both positive and negative developments to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
able to
work
or
study
from
home
. You can save time and cost in commuting and working in
familiar
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a familiar
show examples
environment.
On the other hand
, working and learning through the
screen
may be less effective because of
lacking
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a lack
show examples
of focus and
less
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fewer
show examples
social interactions.
Submitted by Ze.Nin3.R0 on

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task achievement
Your essay provided a balanced view of the positives and negatives of working and studying from home, demonstrating comprehension of the question. However, the response could be strengthened by delving more into the depths of specifics rather than stating the obvious advantages or disadvantages. Elaboration and detail can significantly enhance the richness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a more logical progression of ideas by better organizing your paragraphs. A clear introductory sentence for each paragraph setting the topic, followed by supporting sentences and a conclusive sentence, would boost coherence. Additionally, cohesive devices such as linking words and phrases should be used more effectively to show the relationship between ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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