People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday lives, What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?
Although
living in a large city
can be beneficial for some reasons, living in this
kind of place has more problems
to handle on a daily basis. For those matters, I strongly argue the argument to relocate individuals to a different town.
There are a few problems
that appear in metropolitan cities because more and more people
reside and move from other places. Firstly
, traffic congestion which is caused by many cars and motorcycles on the main road, especially in rush hour when many people
go back to their jobs or school. Furthermore
, this
trend produces a lot of pollution
which poses a risk to all people
particularly older people
and children. For example
, Jakarta which is the capital city
of Indonesia known as a crowded city
full of traffic jams and pollution
. Therefore
, these problems
should be overcome by regulating the system comprehensively, instead
of relocating citizens to other towns.
Based on the facts that have already been mentioned, some measures should be taken in order to solve these problems
.The government should provide more public transportation which connects and integrates the outer city
and the centre city
. By providing these facilities it can reduce the vehicle's density and also
the rate of pollution
will decrease significantly. Moreover
, the authorities have to impose strict rules regarding car emissions that should meet the threshold. For instance
, Tokyo city
has succeeded in reaching a clean air city
by controlling car emissions. Thus
, this
role could be implied in Jakarta to solve its issues.
To conclude
, living in a big city
indeed resulting many problems
for many people
such
as traffic congestion and pollution
. The best way to overcome these problems
is not to relocate the residents, but the Government should provide public transportation and apply strict regulations.Submitted by mfmakarim55 on
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task achievement
The essay comprehensively addresses the topic, discussing the problems faced by people in large cities and offering solutions rather than relocation. However, further elaboration on the pros and cons of relocation could enhance the arguments.
task achievement
Ensure the opening sentence clearly connects to the essay's main argument. Additionally, a bit more variety in sentence structures would benefit the clarity and readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure that generally flows well. Nonetheless, using clearer signposting words and phrases can help the reader follow the argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are well-supported, some paragraphs could benefit from additional elaboration or more distinct examples. Don't hesitate to expand a bit more on certain points.
coherence cohesion
The clear structuring of the introduction and conclusion strengthens the essay's arguments and logically wraps up the discussion.
task achievement
Using relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Jakarta and Tokyo, effectively supports the main points and makes the essay more persuasive.
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