People living in large cities today face many problems in their everyday lives, What are these problems? Should governments encourage people to move to smaller regional towns?
Although
living in a large Linking Words
city
can be beneficial for some reasons, living in Use synonyms
this
kind of place has more Linking Words
problems
to handle on a daily basis. For those matters, I strongly argue the argument to relocate individuals to a different town.
There are a few Use synonyms
problems
that appear in metropolitan cities because more and more Use synonyms
people
reside and move from other places. Use synonyms
Firstly
, traffic congestion which is caused by many cars and motorcycles on the main road, especially in rush hour when many Linking Words
people
go back to their jobs or school. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
this
trend produces a lot of Linking Words
pollution
which poses a risk to all Use synonyms
people
particularly older Use synonyms
people
and children. Use synonyms
For example
, Jakarta which is the capital Linking Words
city
of Indonesia known as a crowded Use synonyms
city
full of traffic jams and Use synonyms
pollution
. Use synonyms
Therefore
, these Linking Words
problems
should be overcome by regulating the system comprehensively, Use synonyms
instead
of relocating citizens to other towns.
Based on the facts that have already been mentioned, some measures should be taken in order to solve these Linking Words
problems
.The government should provide more public transportation which connects and integrates the outer Use synonyms
city
and the centre Use synonyms
city
. By providing these facilities it can reduce the vehicle's density and Use synonyms
also
the rate of Linking Words
pollution
will decrease significantly. Use synonyms
Moreover
, the authorities have to impose strict rules regarding car emissions that should meet the threshold. Linking Words
For instance
, Tokyo Linking Words
city
has succeeded in reaching a clean air Use synonyms
city
by controlling car emissions. Use synonyms
Thus
, Linking Words
this
role could be implied in Jakarta to solve its issues.
Linking Words
To conclude
, living in a big Linking Words
city
indeed resulting many Use synonyms
problems
for many Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
such
as traffic congestion and Linking Words
pollution
. The best way to overcome these Use synonyms
problems
is not to relocate the residents, but the Government should provide public transportation and apply strict regulations.Use synonyms
Submitted by mfmakarim55 on
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task achievement
The essay comprehensively addresses the topic, discussing the problems faced by people in large cities and offering solutions rather than relocation. However, further elaboration on the pros and cons of relocation could enhance the arguments.
task achievement
Ensure the opening sentence clearly connects to the essay's main argument. Additionally, a bit more variety in sentence structures would benefit the clarity and readability of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure that generally flows well. Nonetheless, using clearer signposting words and phrases can help the reader follow the argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
While the main points are well-supported, some paragraphs could benefit from additional elaboration or more distinct examples. Don't hesitate to expand a bit more on certain points.
coherence cohesion
The clear structuring of the introduction and conclusion strengthens the essay's arguments and logically wraps up the discussion.
task achievement
Using relevant and specific examples, such as the case of Jakarta and Tokyo, effectively supports the main points and makes the essay more persuasive.
Your opinion
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