Digital Communication Technology, such as emails, instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connections between people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for you answer and include examples.
The field of communication
technology
has undergone significant advancements, transforming the way individuals interact with each other. Instead
of engaging in face-to-face conversations, people are now opting for digital means such
as emails and direct messages to communicate with one another. Social media platforms have also
gained widespread popularity as a convenient way to connect with friends and family. While
it is true that these technological tools allow us to stay in touch with loved ones who are far away, they can also
lead to a decline in our connections with those around us. This
essay will explore the reasons why reliance on technology
can weaken interpersonal relationships.
To begin
with, it is important to note that no amount of technology
can fully replace genuine human connection. While
video calls may allow individuals to speak face-to-face from remote locations, they lack the ability to express emotions effectively when compared to in-person interactions. Despite emoticons being used as a substitute for conveying emotions online, their effectiveness remains limited at best. Additionally
, signal connectivity issues often cause delays or miscommunications during virtual conversations which can negatively impact relationships.
Another factor contributing towards weakened connections due to
excessive use of digital devices is its negative impact on human health. Studies have shown that prolonged exposure to screens and other forms of technology
directly touching our bodies can result in weakened immune systems; leading an
individual's visual acuity and focus abilities being affected over time Change preposition
to an
while
making sleep harder than usual which ultimately impacts overall
health adversely..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
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coherence cohesion
The essay could be improved by ensuring a logical flow of ideas that are clearly connected to the central argument. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs should be smooth to guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
An introduction and conclusion are crucial for a well-structured essay. Your essay does not clearly delineate these sections, impacting the overall organization and reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
It's important to support each main point with specific examples and explanations. This essay lacks concrete examples to back up claims, which weakens the argument presented.
task achievement
To achieve a complete response, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt, which includes taking a clear position on the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement. The essay does not make a definitive stance and the conclusion to sum up the argument is missing.
task achievement
The clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas presented need improvement. It's crucial to unpack each argument and explore it in depth, ensuring that your reasoning is sound and easy to follow.
task achievement
Using relevant, specific examples can significantly strengthen your argument. Include real-life scenarios, studies, or data to illustrate your points and make them more persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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