IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The best way to solve world’s environment problem is to increase the cost of fuel. Do you agree or disagree and give your own opinion

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One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is that
fuel
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 is harmful to the
environment
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. Now people are beginning to realize that resolving
this
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 issue raises the price of
fuel
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.
However
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, I completely disagree with
this
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 opinion and consider that there are other methods that can solve
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, it is well known that transports consume more
fuel
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 than other consumers. Studies show that 60% of car
fuel
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 spoils the air. What I mean here is that transports have to use less
fuel
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 and consume
energy
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 for driving.
For instance
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, transports which drive with help
energy
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 reduce consuming
energy
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. Company Tesla makes cars that run on
energy
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 and their cars are no different from other cars.
Additionally
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, the government should focus on
energy
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 rather than
fuel
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due to
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 mining
energy
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 with solar systems does not impact too much the world's
environment
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.
On the other hand
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, it can
also
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 be argued that limiting
work
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factories
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due to
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 one consume fuels which emit huge toxic gases. Sometimes, producing
factories
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 is essential for living and it will be tough to cease
work
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 in
factories
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.
That is
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 to say, the best solution to
this
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 issue is recycling.
For example
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, recycling not only consumes less
fuel
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 but
also
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 decreases the number of waste. It is beneficial for the developed
environment
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.
Furthermore
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, reducing their
work
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 time assists to use less
fuel
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.
Factories
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work
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 every day
due to
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 gases being emitted all over the world. Sometimes one has to take a vacation in order for all gases to disappear. In conclusion, I would disagree that the best way to solve
this
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 is by increasing the cost of price. We obtain other methods like solar
energy
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 and limiting
work
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factories
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 will be advantageous for the
environment
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. I firmly believe that our world cease to use more
fuel
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 in the future

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the clarity of your argument by explicitly stating your main points in your introduction. Additionally, make sure to summarize the main ideas clearly in your conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your arguments. For instance, when discussing Tesla, you could mention any statistics or achievements to strengthen your point.
coherence and cohesion
Vary your sentence structures and use more complex sentences to enhance the sophistication of your writing. Also, pay attention to grammar and punctuation for a smoother reading experience.
task achievement
You presented a clear stance on the issue, demonstrating your opinion effectively.
task achievement
Your essay includes some relevant examples, which helps to illustrate your points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon footprint
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • sustainable
  • public transit
  • eco-friendly
  • economic disparity
  • greenhouse gases
  • inflationary pressure
  • environmental degradation
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