Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
With today’s rapid changes, there are
abundances
of opportunities for Fix the agreement mistake
abundance
people
to work
abroad. Some people
argue that for experts like doctors
and engineers
, it is necessary pursue
Add the particle
to pursue
career
in the Add an article
a career
country
where they obtained their education. Others think that they should have
given options to have a job wherever they want to. Verb problem
be
While
some people
argue that experts should not work
abroad, I side with those who feel that it is acceptable to work
in other countries
that they prefer.
At first,
this
important job seems can help a country
to develop and bring many contributions to its people
. As they held pivotal
Add an article
the pivotal
role
, in which Fix the agreement mistake
roles
doctors
act as the
humanitarian Correct article usage
apply
work
, and Replace the word
workers
engineers
is
necessary to help build many aspects in civilians, it can be Change the verb form
are
acknowledge
their Wrong verb form
acknowledged
country
needs them to create positive impacts and serve to
its society.
Having said that, working abroad means they open up new perspectives that they can bring Change preposition
apply
it
later on to their Correct pronoun usage
apply
country
. In many small countries
, it is hard to find any proficient tools that helped
Wrong verb form
help
the
both Remove the article
apply
doctors
and engineers
supports
their Correct subject-verb agreement
support
job
. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Thus
, by
allowing them to pursue professional Change preposition
apply
career
in preferably Fix the agreement mistake
careers
countries
means that the countries
are invested them
to see the world and how things Change preposition
in them
is
going in another Change the verb form
are
country
in
which Change preposition
apply
it
can be beneficial as a resource when they get back to their initial Correct pronoun usage
apply
country
.
All in all, while
keeping experts like doctors
and engineers
to work
in the same country
as they pursue education may sound tangible, they lack of
opportunities that might hinder them Remove the preposition
apply
to develop
. Change preposition
from developing
Therefore
, on balance, I remain firmly convinced that the idea of allowing professionals to work
abroad is necessary.Submitted by pink panther on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance your score in coherence and cohesion, it is crucial that your essay maintains consistent use of cohesive devices, such as conjunctions and referencing words. Make sure paragraphs are well-organized and each idea smoothly transitions into the next. The use of paragraphs is good, but to create a more effective logical structure, try to clearly delineate your main points with topic sentences that state the main idea of each paragraph, and ensure that all subsequent sentences within the paragraph elaborate on that idea.
task achievement
Regarding task achievement, while the response is somewhat complete, refinement is needed to fully develop a clear, comprehensive position throughout the response. Each view should be equally discussed with relevant, detailed, and extended examples to back up claims. Ensure that both sides of the argument are addressed thoroughly and that your own opinion stands out clearly throughout the essay, not just in the concluding paragraph. Moreover, your own opinion should be further elaborated to cover why you believe professionals should have the freedom to work abroad. Providing more concrete examples would enrich the content and demonstrate your understanding of the subject matter.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.