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Band 6

The table data below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.

The table data below shows the average band scores for students from different language groups taking the IELTS General Test in 2010.
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The data shows the information about bands, which students with various birth languages got on the IELTS General Test in 2010. In general, the highest average score has a German linguistic cluster,
on the contrary
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, the lowest band have students with Indonesian as their first language.
Firstly
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, individuals, who have French and Indonesian as native languages were evaluated with exact same grades in listening and reading sections at 6.3 and 6.1, respectively.
Nevertheless
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, they differed by 0.4 points in the writing section, where French acquired a higher score of 6.5. In the
last
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 section, which is speaking, Indonesian pupils got more points, than French students.
However
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, Indonesians ended up with the least
overall
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 band.
Secondly
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, people, who speak Malay have secured the lowest scores in listening, writing and speaking sections, but with the topmost grade in reading.
Moreover
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, German speakers have received the supreme grades in almost all parts of the test, so they obtained the highest
overall
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 band among given language groups, which was 6.7

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "data" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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