Some people think that the best way to succeed in life is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the modern world, everyone defines
success
based on one’s outlook.
While
some
people
argue that the only way to be successful is to get a
degree
from
university
, other
people
disagree with
this
notion. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will explain more both views. On the one hand, some
people
think educational
university
is necessary to prove
extent
Add an article
the extent
show examples
of knowledge, and qualification for
career
Add an article
a career
the career
show examples
. Some professions require
huge
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
knowledge that
obtain
Wrong verb form
is obtained
show examples
from studying years at
university
. Being successful in
this
occupation can be achieved through increasing knowledge and science. Especially, doctors not only should they study in
university
for years, but
also
their
success
associated
Add a missing verb
is associated
show examples
with their level of degrees.
This
means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
they are more successful if they have a higher
university
degree
.
On the other hand
, most
people
contend that having
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
does not indicate
success
. They find
success
in
experience
.
In other words
, frequency and practice are
priority
Fix the agreement mistake
priorities
show examples
for
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
. It should be
noticed
Verb problem
noted
show examples
that even recruitment
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
is based on their
experience
.
For instance
, tailoring is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
occupation that being successful needs
experience
and skills. In conclusion,
although
, having
experience
is important, getting
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
is essential for every field to succeed. I believe that nowadays the best way to show how you are qualified for each career and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
the suitable
show examples
job is to have
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
degree
. In fact, the purpose of having
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
is to get
efficient
Add an article
an efficient
the efficient
show examples
job, so it is the easier way to get
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
and succeed.
Submitted by arvinps on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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Incorporate examples that are specific and directly related to the discussed points.

Word Count

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