IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that the best way to succeed in life is to get a university education, while others disagree and say that it is no longer true nowadays. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #life #university #education
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In the modern world, everyone defines
success
 based on one’s outlook.
While
 some
people
 argue that the only way to be successful is to get a
degree
 from
university
, other
people
 disagree with
this
 notion. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will explain more both views. On the one hand, some
people
 think educational
university
 is necessary to prove
extent
Add an article
the extent
show examples
 of knowledge, and qualification for
career
Add an article
a career
the career
show examples
. Some professions require
huge
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
knowledge that
obtain
Wrong verb form
is obtained
show examples
 from studying years at
university
. Being successful in
this
 occupation can be achieved through increasing knowledge and science. Especially, doctors not only should they study in
university
 for years, but
also
 their
success
associated
Add a missing verb
is associated
show examples
 with their level of degrees.
This
 means
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they are more successful if they have a higher
university
degree
.
On the other hand
, most
people
 contend that having
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 does not indicate
success
. They find
success
 in
experience
.
In other words
, frequency and practice are
priority
Fix the agreement mistake
priorities
show examples
 for
successful
Replace the word
success
show examples
. It should be
noticed
Verb problem
noted
show examples
 that even recruitment
individuals
Change preposition
of individuals
show examples
 is based on their
experience
.
For instance
, tailoring is
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 occupation that being successful needs
experience
 and skills. In conclusion,
although
, having
experience
 is important, getting
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
 is essential for every field to succeed. I believe that nowadays the best way to show how you are qualified for each career and
getting
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
suitable
Add an article
a suitable
the suitable
show examples
 job is to have
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
degree
. In fact, the purpose of having
degree
Add an article
a degree
show examples
 is to get
efficient
Add an article
an efficient
the efficient
show examples
 job, so it is the easier way to get
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 and succeed.
Submitted by arvinps on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure accurate use of connectives to aid coherence.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition and aim for a broader range of cohesive devices.
coherence cohesion
Work on the transition between different ideas for smoother progression.
task achievement
Address the task questions fully and provide a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Expand and clarify points rather than making general statements.
task achievement
Incorporate examples that are specific and directly related to the discussed points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • university degree
  • specialized knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • networking opportunities
  • vocational training
  • self-made entrepreneurs
  • gig economy
  • online courses
  • certifications
  • formal education
  • practical experience
  • lifelong learning
  • career goals
  • individual circumstances
  • academic qualifications
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