Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Nowadays,

Whereas

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most celebrity faces the media devastation issue where they feel unfair, others think that they deserve more privacy.

However

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, both points have their views to discuss in detail with reasons and examples where I would like to put my view is they should have a private life as others. One side point is why famous people are treated unfairly by the paparazzi. The reason behind

this

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is leaking private matters to the public.

This

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due to

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creating family matters in their relationship with their relatives and the media wants TRP value so They can be promoted to get the promotion in a higher position in the company.

For example

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, a recent book launched by the writer about the secrets of paparazzi benefits in the current situation on the market. Another view suggests that the celebrity lifestyle should be private totally where they can enjoy their moments without any media disturbance.

Therefore

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, they prefer to invest valuable time to contribute to the nation through the legacy they establish.

For instance

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, in many Western countries where some hidden billionaire lifestyles are secrets and live happily with a small circle of family with friends. In conclusion, it is a valid reason to share famous personal biographies through paparazzi to improve the country better way and give a space for their private life to come back and represent their role identity to the public. My opinion supports both views to balance the lifestyle of an ideal person and the media-related companies.

patelhardik2199Thu Jan 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear introductory paragraph with an appropriate thesis statement that sets the stage for the discussion. A more structured introduction helps to guide the reader through the essay's argument and objectives.

task achievement

The essay does not clearly distinguish between the two views and the author's opinion. The author should dedicate separate paragraphs to discussing each view in-depth, followed by a paragraph that clearly states their own position, justifying it with logical arguments and pertinent examples.

coherence cohesion

The essay needs to maintain clear logical connections between sentences and ideas. This can be achieved through better use of linking words and expressions that show the relationship between points, such as contrast, cause and effect, and addition.

task achievement

The main points presented in support of each view should be clearly developed and expanded. The writing should include more specific and detailed examples to illustrate each point effectively, drawing on real-world instances where possible.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion of the essay should be more defined. It should summarize the key points discussed, restate the author's opinion, and provide a closing thought or suggestion that follows logically from the content of the essay.

task achievement

The overall clarity of the essay can be improved by focusing on the comprehensiveness of ideas. This means presenting each argument in a way that is easy to understand, avoiding ambiguous language, and clearly separating the author's opinion from the others discussed.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Are famous people treated unfairly by the media? Should they be given more privacy, or is the price of their fame an invasion into their private life? Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many countries have now banned smoking in public places. Some people feel that government should ban smoking entirely. Do you agree or disagree?

In today's digital age, anyone with a smartphone can capture and share photographs. this accessibility to photography diminishes the value of professional photographers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality high school students should be encouraged to question and offer criticism on their teachers. Others think this will you lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

More and more young people are using drugs and alcohol and as a result, breaking the law. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?