IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

in many countries’ schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the cause (problems)of this? What solutions can you suggest?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, it is observed that many
teachers
Use synonyms
 at schools are facing difficulties with teenage behaviour. These problems might be a mental
health
Use synonyms
 issue or a lack of
parents
Use synonyms
’ and
teachers
Use synonyms
’ engagement. It is a fact that
this
Linking Words
 will lead to serious issues for their future.
However
Linking Words
, the potential solutions to tackle
this
Linking Words
 situation are
support
Use synonyms
 from
teachers
Use synonyms
 and
parents
Use synonyms
,
as well as
Linking Words
 mental
health
Use synonyms
support
Use synonyms
 services. There are several reasons why students may act out. First of all, there might be a lack of
parents
Use synonyms
' and
teachers
Use synonyms
’ engagement with adolescents.
For example
Linking Words
, a lack of discipline and communication from
parents
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
teachers
Use synonyms
 will lead to a bad attitude, resulting in them becoming wilder and out of control.
In addition
Linking Words
, mental
health
Use synonyms
 issues may be the main problem causing
this
Linking Words
 circumstance to get worse
such
Linking Words
 as ADHD (Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder), which can be a trigger for aggressiveness.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are some potential solutions prominent to reduce these problems which include discipline from
parents
Use synonyms
, understanding and clear communication from
teachers
Use synonyms
.
In particular
Linking Words
, mothers and fathers could spend more time with their kids to understand more about their emotions.
Moreover
Linking Words
, mental well-being
support
Use synonyms
 services are
also
Linking Words
 available in hospitals and
health
Use synonyms
 centres.
For instance
Linking Words
, if children have symptoms of ADHD,
parents
Use synonyms
 should send them to a psychologist so the doctor can suggest the best medication to help them remain in control.
To sum up
Linking Words
, students' behaviour is more concerning nowadays,
this
Linking Words
 can be remedied by involvement and discipline by their
parents
Use synonyms
 and
teachers
Use synonyms
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, students can seek out
support
Use synonyms
 services to address underlying conditions.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
While your essay addresses the topic well, providing more varied and richer specific examples could enhance task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure that all parts of the essay are equally developed; the introduction and conclusion are strong, but some body paragraphs may benefit from further elaboration.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-related vocabulary to improve the flow and coherence of the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: