It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Clothes are one of the essential needs of humans

besides

housing and food. With the rise of technology in the textile industry and supported by rapid globalisation, people tend to not only buy clothes to keep their bodies warm

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

instead

, to impress others and show their personality through fashion.

However

, it is not appropriate to keep

this

practice for a longer period of time. The greedy consumerism phenomena,

as well as

the capitalist practice, will prove

this

. The supply of branded fashion is on the rise.

This

definitely happens

due to

the market response towards these

brands

' marketing and campaigns. In fact, the statistics show that the main buyers are those with low-mid economy backgrounds.

Further

investigation shows that most people do not hesitate to lend some

money

with high interest to buy things they cannot afford . If

this

consumerism phenomenon keeps happening,

then

low-middle-income people may not be able to sustain their lives by consuming healthy foods because most of their incomes are spent on paying back loans. Through

this

"must-wear-branded-fashion" mindset known as capitalism, the pie chart of the economy will totally change. The

money

will massively go to those

brands

headquartered in the Western region primarily. Those

brands

will benefit the most from

this

while

the country where most buyers are from loses the

money

circulation.

Moreover

, the local

brands

may

also

be unrecognised by the buyers and

thus

will not sustain their businesses

due to

the bankruptcy. To summarise, we need to understand the importance of clothing. It is made to protect our bodies from different conditions and weather, in which the price should not be as expensive as it can get. With the same amount of

money

, we may have more shirts, pants, or jackets from the local

brands

, to support their businesses locally

while

also

contributing to the national economy growth.

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coherence cohesion

The essay lacks a clear structure; ideas are not presented in a logical sequence, leading to confusion for the reader. Focus on organizing your points logically, clearly stating your opinion early in the essay, and developing your argument coherently with well-connected paragraphs.

task achievement

Your position on the statement is unclear, and the question prompt was not fully addressed. Make sure your opinion on whether it's better to buy a few expensive clothes or lots of cheaper ones is stated unambiguously, and directly respond to each part of the task with relevant details.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainability
long-lasting
cost-per-wear
economical
investing
ethical manufacturing
transparent
exclusivity
designs
mass-produced
accessibility
budget
fast fashion
trends
maintenance
dry cleaning
social status
psychological implications

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It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries people of all ages do sports and exercises a lot. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvanatges? Give reason for your answer and include examples from your own experience and knowledge.

last month you had a holiday overseas where you had stayed with your friends.they have just send you some photos of your holiday. writa a letter to your friends.in your letter. Thank them for the photos and holidays. Explian why you didn't write earlier. invite them to come and stay with you.

23.Some experts believe that when a country is already rich, any additional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more satisfied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Is this a positive of negative development?

Prison is the common way in most countries to solve the problem of crime. However, a more effective solution is to provide people a better education. Agree or disagree.