An increasing number of professional, such as doctors an teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in develop countries. What problems does this cause? what can be done to deal with this situation?
Recently, the issue towards
brain
drain phenomenon has triggered a deep concern in some countries who is below the poverty line. The mentioned matter leads to the local professionals’ shortage, which Correct article usage
the brain
further
by addressing wages and incentives improvement should be able to overcome the subject. In my view, an
immediate action should be Remove the article
apply
done
in Verb problem
taken
Correct article usage
a promptly
promptly
Change the adverb
prompt
manners
.
Fix the agreement mistake
manner
Initially
, the primary effect of this
case is domestic experts’ derivation. Within some third world
countries in which health has become an essential issue, the doctors’ availability Add a hyphen
third-world
are
chiefly inadequate to accommodate the required improvement. Another major impediment is Change the verb form
is
about
those educators’ even Change preposition
apply
distributions
within some exclusive areas, which Fix the agreement mistake
distribution
far
from Add a missing verb
is far
initial
necessity. These two conditions can be illustrated by the obstacles in acquiring a reliable health assistant and qualified educational levels towards some rural concentrated areas. An inevitable impact will eventually define the insufficient living standard, respectively.
To apprehend the case, a sufficient Correct article usage
the initial
professionals’
life standard is unquestionable for Change noun form
professional’s
a
betterment. The idea can be reflected by a grander appreciation in regards to those skilled Correct article usage
apply
workers
services Change noun form
workers'
worker's
enhanced
. Add a missing verb
being enhanced
Further
, a particular revised
over incentives and let alone Replace the word
revision
the
wages Correct article usage
apply
are
profoundly demanded, simultaneously. Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Hence
, if this
suggestion is fulfilled, it will resolve the concern swiftly.
To lay the final thesis over the mentioned arguments above, it could be concluded that if the trend exists in continuum phases, it will only bring about the society value’s apprehension, which could be responded by
refining the professionals’ financial Change preposition
to by
gained
. Replace the word
gain
Thus
, to
my perspective, an impulsive action needs to be conducted directly.Change preposition
from
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Be sure to directly address the question asked. Your essay should clearly identify the problems caused by the 'brain drain' phenomenon and suggest concrete solutions.
coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with clearer topic sentences and connect your ideas more effectively. It is essential to guide the reader through your argument in a logical and clear manner.
examples
Include specific examples to support your points. This can help make your ideas more persuasive and tangible to the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.