IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some universities offer online courses as an alternative to classes delivered on campus. Do you think this a positive or negative development?

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In
this
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 Modern era, universities and colleges are focusing on the advancement of the
education
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 system.
This
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 approach gained momentum in recent years, which creates ease of study and helps in enhancing learning ability. Evaluating whether
this
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 trend is beneficial or detrimental necessities a multifaceted analysis On the affirmative side, online
courses
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 play a pivotal role in many student's life, who do not have enough available time and resources to go to any universities. Some people have their family responsibilities which come first rather than their careers. But, they have the option to study from anywhere and it will be helpful for them to polish their skills.
For instance
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, a couple of years ago, the world was dealing with viruses, which were affecting human health. At that time, online
courses
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 were the only option to provide
education
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 to students without any pause.
Additionally
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, some
courses
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 are beneficial to improve skills, like digital marketing, e-commerce and many more. It raised the level of
education
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 and helped many students to achieve their goals
while
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 at the same time focusing on responsibilities towards their families.
However
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, these online
courses
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 have some drawbacks, which cannot be ignored by any
education
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 system. In a few
education
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 fields, practical knowledge is a must to gain more hands-on skills, which is impossible in online
courses
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.
Consequently
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, people will lack on-field experience and will lower their confidence to perform any task.
For example
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, nurses cannot learn everything on online
courses
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, they do need on-site training for their jobs. Online
courses
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 should be limited to a theoretical portion of any programme, but for practical, universities should provide classes on campus. In conclusion, online
courses
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 are very beneficial for computer-based
education
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 where you can learn anything just from your laptop. But these should be restricted to practical
courses
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 which will be only possible at university classes.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Your essay demonstrates this structure, but the logical flow between ideas could be enhanced for better clarity and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately to link your ideas. This essay includes some examples, but there is room for more varied and sophisticated use of linking words and phrases to create a seamless argument.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph should have a clear central topic that is developed with explanations and examples. Some paragraphs in your essay are well-developed, while others could benefit from more in-depth analysis and stronger support for your points.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task adequately, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Your essay addresses the main question but occasionally drifts into generic statements that don't directly support your stance on whether online education is a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Provide clear, relevant main ideas in each paragraph with appropriate expansion and supporting detail, such as examples or evidence. While you've attempted this, further depth and detail will strengthen your argument and make a more compelling case.
task achievement
Use a range of sentence structures and vocabulary accurately and appropriately. There were instances of awkward phrasing and some grammatical inaccuracies which have affected the clarity of your writing. Pay attention to sentence construction and seek to enhance lexical variety.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • flexibility
  • accessibility
  • tuition fees
  • commuting
  • accommodation
  • multimedia
  • interactive tools
  • enhance
  • cater to
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personalized attention
  • complex concepts
  • motivation
  • discipline
  • structure
  • extracurricular activities
  • networking
  • university experience
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