The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Since the beginning of mankind, there is evidence that men used to find food for the family
while
women
took concern for the offspring.
Therefore
, through evolution, males got strong enough to fight, and face different kinds of situations
while
females became emotionally strong enough to tackle family problems and take concern for offspring.
Hence
, most
people
believe that taking care of
children
and household situations is entirely up to
women
. But the world has changed so fast over the
last
two decades and females have started to earn like males.
Thus
, if a baby of a working mom starts to struggle with life, the public does not hesitate to blame the mother for that.
However
, I strongly disagree with the fact that babies are entirely
women
’s responsibility. In
this
essay, I will discuss
further
about my opinion. In today’s world, even though, gentlemen work as hard as they can it is not enough for a family to function since the needs have risen with globalization. Even, basic needs like medications have become very expensive with age.
Therefore
, working
women
Change preposition
with women
show examples
is a timely requirement. And, it is not like the good old days when
people
used to hunt and wear leaves. These days
people
must earn money to buy all those things.
Consequently
,
women
feel the difficulty of requesting money from men every occasion they need something.
Thus
,
women
have chosen to work for their requirements which I think is the right thing to do.
Although
, at
first,
people
were against the idea of working
women
, now the public has understood that it is helpful to maintain a family.
Accordingly
, I believe that if
women
help to earn, men should help
women
to take care of descendants because they are not purely female’s responsibility. I agree with the fact that offspring can have so many problems since their
parents
are not with them.
For example
, I had both my
parents
with me
while
growing up
therefore
, I had the smoothest childhood since I had listeners whenever I had a problem. I think even though the mother will not be able to be with the juvenile all day,
children
will not face juvenile delinquency if both
parents
can spend their leisure time with the kid, doing something the kid likes.
To conclude
,
although
, I agree with the fact that
children
can experience bad situations
due to
the unavailability of listeners, I think it is not purely up to mom. Father has a responsibility too.
Children
can have a better life if both
parents
take obligation for their descendants.
Submitted by g.chamodi94 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure logical connections between paragraphs are clear and use a wider range of cohesive devices. For example, you might consider transition signals to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs and within them.
task achievement
Work on developing main ideas more fully by expanding on your examples. Include more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments, making sure they directly relate to the topic.
task achievement
Review the prompt carefully and ensure that all components of the task are addressed equally. While it's good to present a balanced argument, make sure your personal stance is clear throughout the essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • evolution
  • domestic roles
  • diverse professional engagements
  • dual-working parents
  • family dynamics
  • juvenile delinquency
  • societal and economic factors
  • dual-income households
  • childcare methods
  • community support systems
  • gender roles
  • family responsibilities
  • professional aspirations
  • development needs
  • correlation
  • simplistic causation
  • workplace policies
  • flexible hours
  • parental leave
  • gender equality
  • role models
  • successful womanhood
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