countries should produce food beyond all the population eats without importing, agree or disagree
Producing food only for their population is important and there is no need to
importing
Wrong verb form
import
products
is not required, countries
should produce their demanded products
which is required of population
. I do not agree with Correct article usage
the population
this
idea, because producing products
only for locals limits worldwide income which can be earned from international
market.
Add an article
the international
First,
people
can use
various foods from importing products
inlcuding
vitamins and proteins that are not common in certain Correct your spelling
including
countries
. These days, it is important to use
those high quality products
in order to being
Change the verb
be
a
healthy and energetic. Change the article
apply
As a result
, people
use
those importing products
with quality rather than local brands. For example
, some people
often use
avacoda
and salmon for breakfast which Correct your spelling
avocado
has
many vitamins needed for humans. Correct subject-verb agreement
have
However
, these are not available to buy from Mongolia, therefore
, people
purchase them from importing products
. Another reason is that if people
use
importing products
, the world economy will be
expand. It means that if Unnecessary verb
apply
country
can supply foreign sales, the state will be developed quickly. Add an article
a country
the country
This
is because international sales generally require more products
in order to meet worldwide consumers'
Fix the agreement mistake
consumer'
demand
, Fix the agreement mistake
demands
as a
result
companies earn more money. Add the comma(s)
result,
Above all
, concerning these benefits, countries
should make various products
, not only for local residents.
On the other hand
, countries
try to supply all products
that required
Add a missing verb
are required
their
citizens in their Change preposition
by their
country
. Because,
some Remove the comma
apply
importing
Change the form of the verb
imported
products
are expensive, therefore
, people
can not purchase them; despite they
need Correct pronoun usage
their
those
Change preposition
for those
products
. If there is a chance to produce those foods in their country
, it would be beneficial for both sides including manufacturers and consumers, However
, usually, most local products
can not manufacture various products
. Therefore
, people
tend to use importing
Wrong verb form
import
products
that affects
Change the verb form
affect
local
economy negatively.
Add an article
the local
To conclude
, If countries
supplying
all their demanded Wrong verb form
supply
products
in
their residents, Change preposition
to
this
would be positive
development. Add an article
a positive
However
, companies broadening consumers to
Change preposition
apply
the
worldwide means Correct article usage
apply
that
earning more income which would affect positively Correct word choice
apply
in
their Change preposition
apply
country
's economy.Submitted by zayashdee on
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Introduction and Conclusion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion are clear, concise, and summarize the main points of your argument effectively. The introduction did not clearly paraphrase the question or state your position, and the conclusion could have been stronger in summarizing the discussion.
Paragraph Development
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Relevance to the Topic
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Linking Devices
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Sentence Structure
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Supporting Examples
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Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?