Some people say that the amount of noise that people make should be strictly controlled. Others say that people should be free to make as much noise as they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
People
argue that Use synonyms
noises
should be controlled. Use synonyms
While
others said, that Linking Words
people
freely create Use synonyms
noises
as much as they want.
In general, Creating noise is classified as Use synonyms
one
of the human rights. Whilst, as the Use synonyms
people
who live in the society, we have to care about the other human being.
I firmly believe to create a better environment, we have to ensure Use synonyms
people
around us are not getting disturbance by how many sounds we create. Use synonyms
Hence
, Linking Words
noises
should be controlled. Use synonyms
While
none of the laws take Linking Words
this
into account, I am confident that Linking Words
noises
have been regulated by social norms and ethics. Use synonyms
For instance
, none of the regulations tells us to lower our Linking Words
voices
during the night on our home balcony, Use synonyms
However
, since social norms naturally run through us, They unintentionally talk in lower Linking Words
voices
Use synonyms
instead
of laughing hard to undisturbed neighbours from getting awake in the night.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, I believe creating noise is considered Linking Words
one
of the human rights. Use synonyms
This
means, Linking Words
Use synonyms
people
are free to hubbub as much as they want. Correct word choice
that people
However
, I think it is likely that Linking Words
this
happen in public areas, namely: parks, theme parks, and other public open spaces. It is considered as annoying if anyone interrupts Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
due to
their Linking Words
voices
in public areas. Use synonyms
One
of many examples that came from my personal experience is when my youngest brother used to talk out loud during our play in the theme park. And of course, I answered him happily. Use synonyms
In contrast
, there was another visitor who said to me "You're so annoying, you disturb others". Meanwhile, there was not a visitor who complained like she did.
In conclusion, I feel that creating noise is Linking Words
one
of the human rights. Everyone deserves to choose whether they remain silent or they want to create loud Use synonyms
voices
as they want. Use synonyms
However
, location should be a consideration.Linking Words
Submitted by rkarinameu on
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Introduction Structure
Your essay begins with a clear introduction of the topic, although it could benefit from a more sophisticated structure that introduces both sides of the argument before presenting your thesis statement.
Logical Flow and Clear Transitions
In terms of coherence, you should focus on clearer transitions between ideas, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon with explanations and examples. The logical flow of information can be improved.
Conclusion Reinforcement
The conclusion successfully restates your position, but it can be strengthened by summarizing both views concisely and your reasons for siding with your opinion.
Development of Main Points
Continue to develop your main points with more varied and complex sentence structures. You made an attempt to support your main points with examples, yet these examples should be more fully developed and explicitly connected to the argument to enhance your position.
Support and Clarification
Be careful with expressions of general opinions, such as 'Creating noise is classified as one of the human rights.' These statements require further clarification, definition, and support.
Depth of Argument
Task accomplishment can be improved by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. While you provide opinions on both views and your own stance, make sure you delve into the 'why' behind your reasoning and the potential wider implications of your arguments.
Grammatical Accuracy
Be mindful of punctuation and grammar. While understandable, the essay contains several grammatical errors that could be revised for improved clarity and academic tone.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?