In spite of the advance made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this case? What can be down about this problem?
Nowadays, the majority of people in the world suffer from starvation
while
we have witnessed agricultural advancement. In my opinion, progressing in agriculture isn'Linking Words
t
enough to provide Use synonyms
food
for all people and we need to improve Use synonyms
food
transportation, and all Use synonyms
areas
should be able to exploit Use synonyms
this
advancement. In Linking Words
this
essay, I will discuss reasons and solutions for Linking Words
this
issue.
I believe that the existence of new facilities isn'Linking Words
t
enough to feed a great deal of folks, and other aspects should be considered. Use synonyms
Firstly
, Numerous roads aren'Linking Words
t
sufficient for Use synonyms
transportation
Correct article usage
the transportation
Use synonyms
food
and decent vehicles Change preposition
of food
such
as trucks and trains should be provided in order to receive Linking Words
products
faster before they get spoiled or ruined. Use synonyms
Secondly
, agricultural Linking Words
products
should be maintained in good condition in storage for a long time to be able to be used at any time. Use synonyms
For example
, in my country, many Linking Words
products
have been infested by rodents Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
lack
of sufficient storage. Correct article usage
a lack
Finally
, agriculture is usually implemented in rural Linking Words
areas
and suburbs where Use synonyms
farmers
are still utilizing traditional methods. Traditional methods are slow and lower Use synonyms
products
can be produced through them so despite a myriad of difficulties Use synonyms
farmers
have endured they aren'Use synonyms
t
satisfied with their incomes. Use synonyms
Thus
, all Linking Words
areas
from cultivating Use synonyms
products
to distributing them should be facilitated.
Use synonyms
However
, there are many useful ways to tackle Linking Words
this
problem and I will refer to two main of them. One of the major solutions is that roads with strong infrastructure should be built and the latest vehicle used to boost the rate of distribution and transformation of Linking Words
food
. Use synonyms
Also
, all rural Linking Words
areas
must be equipped with the latest technology and strategies regarding agriculture Use synonyms
consequently
, the more Linking Words
farmers
' income will increase and the more they are encouraged to continue farming and cause economic growth. Use synonyms
Therefore
, the amount of Linking Words
food
production would increase, more individuals could survive and the percentage of disease and fatality Use synonyms
due to
starvation would decrease.
In conclusion, if we want to rescue hungry individuals, we should consider diverse aspects Linking Words
such
as transportation, storage, and Linking Words
farmers
' benefits, and not just focus on agricultural equipment.Use synonyms
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic which is developed logically. Your essay has a structure, but some ideas could be expanded further.
coherence cohesion
Introductions and conclusions are necessary and you have included them, however, make sure they clearly state the main arguments and summaries of the essay without introducing new information in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. Some of your points were generalized statements without specific, concrete examples to support them.
task achievement
Address all parts of the task. You covered the topic, but your response could be more complete by addressing all aspects of the prompt in more depth.
task achievement
Develop your ideas fully and discuss them comprehensively. Some ideas are mentioned but require further explanation and exploration to fully satisfy the prompt.
task achievement
Use relevant examples to illustrate your points. Try to incorporate specific examples that reinforce the ideas you present in your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example