Education should be free for everyone. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
While
some people
argue that the government of many developed countries
should not spend a significant amount of taxpayers’ money
on art
forms
, other’s
hold the view that spending taxpayers’ Change noun form
others
money
on this
purpose is important for several beneficial reasons. In this
essay, I will discuss the reasons why I agree that developed countries
should spend money
on this
sector.
One aspect which is worthy of deliberation is the variety of art works
of developed Correct your spelling
artworks
countries
. Many developed countries
spend money
on art
forms
because they may want to enrich the culture of nations. Another consideration which comes to mind in relation to this
is that art
forms
such
as sculpture and abstract paintings depict the identity of nations. For example
, people
visiting Bali can understand its culture only by seeing many sculptures. If governments pay no heed to these kinds of art
forms
, this
could result in a lack of understanding of culture for young
generation.
Another aspect which needs to be taken into account is that Correct article usage
the young
art
forms
could attract visitors. This
will provide a large amount of money
because many people
enjoy contemporary music and buy abstract paintings in great numbers. It is true that most of the taxpayers do not understand or do not enjoy such
art
forms
. However
, in terms of economy
, Correct article usage
the economy
money
collected from visitors can be used as a source of income. The inevitable consequence is that all people
including those who do not understand will benefit from the tourism sector. In addition
, developed countries
need various art
forms
for further
research regarding art
itself because art
forms
may have positive impacts on education.
In conclusion, in light of the points outlined above, I strongly believe that spending taxpayers’ money
on art
forms
has positive impacts (implication
) on Fix the agreement mistake
implications
people
(society). The more attractive art works
in a country, the more Correct your spelling
artworks
benefit
the country will get.Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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task achievement
The essay displays a clear position throughout, but it does not completely address the given task, which was to discuss the argument about whether education should be free for everyone. Instead, the essay discusses the topic of government spending on art forms, which is a different subject. Therefore, the score is lower in 'complete response'. To improve, ensure that the response directly addresses the topic and task given.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and includes an introduction and conclusion, which is positive. However, the content of the essay does not match the given topic, and the thesis and the conclusion are not fully consistent with each other in terms of focus, which affects the score. Coherence could be improved by staying on topic and presenting arguments that are directly related to the prompt, ensuring the introduction and conclusion are consistent with the question posed.
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