Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sports

There are competing views on whether dangerous

sports

should be banned or not.

Although

there always

danger

Replace the word

dangerous

show examples

situation

Fix the agreement mistake

situations

show examples

in these

sports

, I still think that the

sports

should

be exist

Change the verb form

exist

show examples

because the joiners have awareness of the risks. On the one hand, it is argued by some that extreme

sports

should be banned because

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can

danger

Verb problem

endanger

show examples

one's life. Many people who

contributed

Wrong verb form

contribute

show examples

such

sports

may

expose

Wrong verb form

be exposed

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

the unexpected dangers they may face,

such

as serious

injures

Replace the word

injuries

show examples

or even deaths when performing those activities.

For example

, it is common to see motor racing athletes often experience bike malfunction or fatal

crash

Fix the agreement mistake

crashes

show examples

in the racing area, resulting in

life time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

disability and mortality.

However

, I disagree with the argument because the risk could be reduced by safety procedures that must be followed by athletes.

On the other hand

, others agree that every person has

their

Change the word

the

show examples

free will to opt for

Correct article usage

a specific

show examples

specific

Correct article usage

a specific

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

because they

fully

Add a missing verb

are fully

show examples

aware of the

risk

Fix the agreement mistake

risks

show examples

of the

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

. Before joining the dangerous activity, these people must follow the

trainings

Change the wording

training

pieces of training

show examples

or even

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

certifications. These procedures are held to give extensive knowledge that should be known and to prevent

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

accidents that may happen.

For instance

, people should have diving certification first before

perform

Change the verb form

performing

show examples

diving in the sea.

This

includes the breathing techniques and the use of the diving gear itself.

Thus

, the newcomers are taught important knowledge and they would know how to handle the

danger

Replace the word

dangerous

show examples

situation properly. I agree with

this

argument because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

always have procedures and rules. In conclusion,

while

the risks associated with extreme

sports

are exist

Change the verb form

exist

show examples

, the freedom

in choosing

Change preposition

to choose

show examples

sports

should be encouraged because

the

Change preposition

of the

show examples

safety rules that followed.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Thu Jan 11 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure the essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The introduction should introduce the topic and briefly outline both views and your opinion, while the conclusion should summarize the points made and reiterate your opinion.

clear comprehensive ideas

Develop your ideas more fully with detailed explanations. There's a need for more in-depth analysis and explanation of why people have these different viewpoints and why individuals might be aware of the risks involved with dangerous sports but choose to participate anyhow.

relevant specific examples

Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. While you mentioned some scenarios, further real-life case studies or statistics would strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper level of understanding.

logical structure

Work on organizing your essay with clear and logical progression between ideas. Each body paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence that introduces the key idea of the paragraph, followed by explanation and example.

supported main points

Connect your ideas and sentences with cohesive devices appropriately, but also ensure to avoid repetition and redundancy. Consistent and varied use of linking words as well as paragraphing can greatly enhance the readability and organization of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
engagement
incentives
obesity
recreation
well-being
peer pressure
physical fitness
endurance
balance
teamwork
coordination
confidence
self-esteem
discipline
facilities
accessible
affordable
curriculum
extracurricular
inclusion

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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You are looking for a full-time job. Write a letter to an employment agency. In your letter: introduce yourself explain what sort of job you would like say what experience and skills you have

In some countries, as cities grow, more money is spent on the urban transport system and little is spent on the rural ones. What are the problems creating it? What are the solutions to these problems?

Employers should ensure that there are equal numbers of males and females in managerial posts in company. What extend do you agree or disagree?

some people think that sports involving violence such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?

Several languages are in danger of extinction because they are spoken by a small number of people ,some people say that government should spend public money on saving these languages ,while others believe that would be a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.