All parents want the best opportunity for their children. There some people who think that schools should teach the children skills but others think that having a range of subjects is better for a child’s future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#parents #opportunity #children #people #schools #skills #range #subjects #child’s #future

One of the social concerns today relates to the parents who want to provide the best opportunity for their

children

While

it is widely believed that

schools

should teach

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

skills

, others believe that having a range of

subjects

is better for a child’s

future

. In my opinion,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children

will get

Correct pronoun usage

their fully

show examples

fully

Change the word

full

show examples

potential in their

future

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

show examples

if they

are receiving

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

skills

and harvest knowledge by learning in

subjects

which

Add a missing verb

are support

show examples

support

Replace the word

supported

show examples

schools

. On the one hand, it is argued that

schools

should teach the

children

skills

Firstly

, nowadays

skills

can mainly

learn

Wrong verb form

be learned

show examples

at school. One good illustration is Jack Ma who

is demonstrates

Change the verb form

demonstrates

show examples

that having good

skills

can lead to success.

On the other hand

, it is strongly believed by others that having a range of

subjects

is better for a child’s

future

. People often have

this

opinion because the more they gain knowledge the more they are

securing

Wrong verb form

secure

show examples

in the

future

. A good example In conclusion, I believe that both

skills

and

subjects

are necessary for students to prepare for their occupation and life in the

future

and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

schools

play

Correct your spelling

show examples

important role in

support

Change the verb form

supporting

show examples

their

children

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Thu Jan 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

You need to work on presenting a well-structured essay. The ideas need to be organized in a logical manner with clear paragraphs for the introduction, each side of the argument, and the conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively.

task achievement

Clearly state your opinion and ensure you address all parts of the task. Your essay should fully answer the question with adequately supported ideas and relevant examples. Extend and elaborate on your main points to demonstrate an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

192 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Fully explain your ideas

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

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Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reason for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

It was predicted that, with the development of technology, people in the 21st century would have much more free time than in the past. To what extent has this prediction come true?