IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

All parents want the best opportunity for their children. There some people who think that schools should teach the children skills but others think that having a range of subjects is better for a child’s future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Introduction
One of the social concerns today relates to the parents who want to provide the best opportunity for their
children
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
While
Linking Words
 it is widely believed that
schools
Use synonyms
 should teach
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
, others believe that having a range of
subjects
Use synonyms
 is better for a child’s
future
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
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 will get
Correct pronoun usage
their fully
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fully
Change the word
full
show examples
 potential in their
future
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career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
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 if they
are receiving
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
skills
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 and harvest knowledge by learning in
subjects
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 which
Add a missing verb
are support
show examples
support
Replace the word
supported
show examples
 by
schools
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.
Body paragraph 2
On the one hand, it is argued that
schools
Use synonyms
 should teach the
children
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skills
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.
Firstly
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, nowadays
skills
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 can mainly
learn
Wrong verb form
be learned
show examples
 at school. One good illustration is Jack Ma who
is demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrates
show examples
 that having good
skills
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 can lead to success.
Body paragraph 3
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is strongly believed by others that having a range of
subjects
Use synonyms
 is better for a child’s
future
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. People often have
this
Linking Words
 opinion because the more they gain knowledge the more they are
securing
Wrong verb form
secure
show examples
 in the
future
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. A good example
Conclusion
In conclusion, I believe that both
skills
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 and
subjects
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 are necessary for students to prepare for their occupation and life in the
future
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
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 play
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 important role in
support
Change the verb form
supporting
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
You need to work on presenting a well-structured essay. The ideas need to be organized in a logical manner with clear paragraphs for the introduction, each side of the argument, and the conclusion. Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing effectively.
task achievement
Clearly state your opinion and ensure you address all parts of the task. Your essay should fully answer the question with adequately supported ideas and relevant examples. Extend and elaborate on your main points to demonstrate an understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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