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Band 4.5

In the future all cars ,busses will be driverless.The only people travelling will be passengers.Do you think the advantages will outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #busses #driverless #people #passengers
Even though automated
vehicles
 have
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 ills
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
leading to unemployment.
However
,I personally think these demerits are completely outweighed by the benefits because the
cars
 are suitable for all ages and
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
 not require experience
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
allows
Correct subject-verb agreement
allow
show examples
 one to do other tasks on the journey. Automated
vehicles
 have
got
Verb problem
apply
show examples
drawbacks as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to unemployment.People will not be able to work as everything will be done with machines
this
 will cause people to stay at home.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 automated machines have
negetives
Correct your spelling
negatives
negative
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Nevertheless
, these merits are totally exceeded by the positive benefits of automated transport as it is suitable for all ages.Automated
cars
caters
Change the verb form
cater
show examples
 for all ages
it does not select
Verb problem
;
show examples
therefore
this
 allows all individuals to travel without the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a driver.
In addition
,another merit
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 driverless
cars
 is that it does not need experience.Anyone without a driver's licence can be in a position to
travell
Correct your spelling
travel
 legally in those
vehicles
 travelling safe and secure.
Moreover
,
vehicles
 that do not require drivers are very essential as they allow one to do different
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 during the journey.These types of
vehicles
 give people their own personal space by allowing them to
different
Add a missing verb
do different
show examples
 tasks along the trip as means will be automated. In conclusion,even though automobile
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 got their own
negetives
Correct your spelling
negatives
negative
 like it leading to unemployment.
Nonetheless
,I think that these downsides are thoroughly outweighed by the benefits of automated
cars
 as they allow one to do
other task
Change the wording
another task
other tasks
show examples
 on the ride and they do cater for all individuals
as well as
, no need for experience.
Submitted by karigaruvimbo on

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Introduction
You should ensure that you have a clear and concise introduction that outlines the main points you will address in your essay. Your introduction lacks a precise thesis statement that clearly indicates your position on the topic.
Coherence
Utilize a range of cohesive devices and transition words throughout your essay to help the reader follow your argument. Additionally, try to organize paragraphs logically with a single idea or argument in each.
Task Response
Each main point in your essay should be elaborated with specific examples or evidence. This helps to substantiate your arguments and provides a more convincing response to the prompt.
Language Use
Pay close attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation, as errors can impede clarity and detract from the overall quality of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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