IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There is an increasing population on the planet, and people are running out of water, food, and fuel. To what consequences may overpopulation lead? In your opinion, what measures calation?n be taken to fight overpopu

#population #planet #people #water #food #fuel #consequences #overpopulation #measures #calation #n #fight #overpopu
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There are
increasing
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 in
number
 of
population
due to
 health care development, so a
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
 in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
people
 may cause
decrease
Add an article
a decrease
show examples
 in needs
such
 as water, food, housing ,electricity, and fuel. In
this
statment
Correct your spelling
statement
 I will discuss how we can
avoide
Correct your spelling
avoid
sources
 needs difficulty. In my opinion, the problem is on the availability of
sources
 not on the
number
 of populations. In the
beganing
Correct your spelling
beginning
, we will talk about
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
reduction
Correct article usage
the reduction
show examples
 of resources.
Deforstraion
Correct your spelling
Deforestation
 is the
most big
Change the adjective
biggest
show examples
 problem that
threat
Wrong verb form
threatens
show examples
plants
Change noun form
plants'
plant's
show examples
 and
animals
Change noun form
animals'
animal's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 which are used as the most important source of food. Bury the seas for building houses.
Consumtion
Correct your spelling
Consuming
Consumption
 lots of water during
Add an article
a shower
show examples
shower
Wrong verb form
showering
show examples
, farming, cleaning or uses for cooking.
This
mean
Replace the word
means
show examples
loss
Correct article usage
a loss
show examples
 of biodiversity around the world. Bad distribution of
population
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
 Maldive lands has a small
number
 of
people
 that live
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
there.
Inaddition
Correct your spelling
In addition
,
humane
Replace the word
humans
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 on the climate by using a lot of fossil fuel which emits
poluten
Correct your spelling
pollution
polluted
polluting
 gas.
Second,
we have to give some
recommendation
Fix the agreement mistake
recommendations
show examples
 to avoid
this
 problem. As we can see,
deforstration
Correct your spelling
deforestation
 and hunting animals issue must treated by
government
Add an article
the government
a government
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can add some districted roles for citizens to prevent any hunting or cutting
trees
Change preposition
of trees
show examples
. Education is the main element
to raise
Change preposition
in raising
show examples
population's
Correct article usage
the population's
show examples
 information about how to protect water and other
sources
.
However
, even if
people
 have
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about
Correct article usage
the protction
show examples
protction
Correct your spelling
protection
 of
sources
 they need roles to keep them. Family
also
responsable
Correct your spelling
responsible
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 raising the
population
, they
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 aware that
Correct article usage
the icreasing
show examples
icreasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
 will cause overcrowding and raise
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the cost of living.
Furthermore
,
Correct article usage
the govenment
show examples
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
 should
encourag
Correct your spelling
encourage
 sustainable living and the development of renewable energy
sources
. In conclusion, finding and protecting resources to avoid the issue of increasing
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population
 are
responsable
Correct your spelling
responsible
both
Change preposition
for both
show examples
people
 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. Hand by hand
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each of them will give a successful result.
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task achievement
Address the topic accurately and remain focused on the essay prompt. Your essay deviates from the task question 'To what consequences may overpopulation lead?' and did not provide a direct opinion about measures to fight overpopulation.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically. Use cohesive devices to link sentences and paragraphs coherently. Your essay lacks clear transitions, and ideas are not always logically sequenced.
task achievement
Enhance clarity by formulating clear and comprehensive ideas. Some sentences in the essay are confusing, and ideas are not always clearly expressed or developed.
task achievement
Provide relevant supporting examples. Your essay mentions consequences and measures abstractly without giving precise examples or evidence to support your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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