Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology_ In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?
As humans already live in
contemporary
era where everything is now instant, Correct article usage
a contemporary
people
become more dependant
on it. Replace the word
dependent
For instance
, this
issue hits individuals
Change noun form
individuals'
individual's
relationship
towards each other and Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
resulting
Wrong verb form
results in
negative
impact on Correct article usage
a negative
the
society as well Correct article usage
apply
to
Correct word choice
as
overall
humans
life Change the noun form
human
especially
in terms of communication. In Add the comma(s)
, especially
this
essay
I will Add a comma
essay,
extent
Replace the word
extend
the
Correct article usage
a
further
view on
the Change preposition
of
disadvantage
.
First and foremost, as Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
people
can instantly make an interaction with their gadget, they rely to
it too much where at the point they do not want to meet in person. Change the preposition
on
upon
This
phenomenon shows how most of
communities Change preposition
apply
are
no longer socialize and lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
connection in Change preposition
apply
the
real life which will harm their personalities. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, they tend to be more individualist and their real worlds likely to be forgotten. Thus
, the communication between each individuals
most likely Change to a singular noun
individual
have
less emotion and Change the verb form
has
not
as memorable as Add a missing verb
is not
they
engage face-to-face.
More than that, Rephrase
when they
cryber
security is now Correct your spelling
cyber
affacted
by Correct your spelling
affected
the
technology. The modernization of communication Correct article usage
apply
allow
internet users to make fake Change the verb form
allows
profile
where everyone can be anyone else and Fix the agreement mistake
profiles
trolling
around the forum. Wrong verb form
troll
This
problem starts when the troll pretends to be someone and spread
fake information to the public and Wrong verb form
spreads
create
a chaotic environment, especially because they use someone else's face. The biggest problem is when the relatives know about the fake news coming from Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
people
that they know. This
will lead to the
misinformation and break someone's reputation.
Correct article usage
apply
To sum up
, the transformation about
being connected globally with technology and various Change preposition
of
device
Fix the agreement mistake
devices
are
indeed great and helpful. Change the verb form
is
However
, there are some points that affecting
Change the form of the verb
affect
the
society in a very bad way and Correct article usage
apply
people
obviously cannot run from that situation. All this thing
Fix the agreement mistake
these things
is
like Correct subject-verb agreement
are
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a double edged sword
double edged swords
double edged
swords where there Add a hyphen
double-edged
is
always bads in goods and it is crucial for Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
to manage the whole situation.Submitted by writingielts0 on
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coherence cohesion
You should ensure that each paragraph presents a clear main idea and that these ideas follow a logical sequence throughout the essay. Your arguments would benefit from clearer introductory sentences that guide the reader through your points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion that clearly state the topic and provide a summary of the main points and your overall stance. Make sure to write distinct opening and closing paragraphs that serve these purposes.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen your main points, provide more specific, detailed examples that directly support your argument. The use of personal experience, factual information, or identifiable sources would enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
task achievement
Your response needs to address all parts of the task more effectively. As an example, considering providing a more balanced view that also considers how technology may have benefited relationships, to fulfill the requirement of discussing both positive and negative developments.
task achievement
The clarity of your ideas could be improved by structuring your essay more effectively, with clear topic sentences and a logical progression of ideas. Focus on creating comprehensive points that progress logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more relevant and specific examples. Incorporating concrete evidence and specifics can provide a stronger foundation for your arguments and capitalize on your critical analysis of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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