IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people #lives
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Some contend that
scientists
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 should prioritize improving
people
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's quality of life. I completely agree with
this
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 statement.
Scientists
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 might have different approaches toward
science
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, ranging from conservation
programms
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programmes
programs
 to power seizing. One of the most important factors for one's
overall
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 well-being is having access to enough food sources.
This
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 mentality urges
people
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 to seek resources among flourished vegetation and well-developed animals. Some environmentalists,
however
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, believe that animal rights hold equal importance in comparison to human needs;
therefore
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, certain constraints are set in order to compel humankind to live in favour of other creatures, regardless of their own interests.
Moreover
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, during challenging times,
science
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 can be enslaved to privilege a nation over others.
For instance
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, in war, governments oblige
scientists
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 to develop biological and nuclear weapons to bend components to their will.
This
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 approach not only hinders other communities' quality of life but
also
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 imposes unbearable pressure on
scientists
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.
Nevertheless
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, it is believed that
science
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 should aim for the most rational solution rather than considering humanity and
people
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's preferences.
Although
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scientists
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 have numerous ambitions, it is crucial to prioritize
people
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's pursuits to benefit both society and
individuals
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. Taxpayers allocate a large proportion of scientific funds, entitling them to benefit from its results. Taxes should be used to provide adequate healthcare services and develop technologies that bring about convenience for humankind.
This
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 approach can motivate
individuals
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 to engage in the collaborative act of taxpaying.
Additionally
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, research has proved that prioritizing other's needs and succeeding in meeting them offers optimal happiness. Helping other
individuals
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 can bring about a sense of unparalleled
fulfillment
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fulfilment
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 that can not be compared to any other accomplishment in life.
This
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 feeling can foster one's mental well-being. In conclusion,
science
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 has various responsibilities, among which upgrading
individuals
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' lives is the most important motive.
Submitted by ghazalmoosavi79 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to separate ideas more clearly into distinct paragraphs. This will help to guide the reader more smoothly through your argument.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific scientific initiatives or discoveries that have significantly improved people's lives.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses the task by discussing multiple perspectives on scientific priorities and articulating a clear stance in favor of improving people's lives.
coherence cohesion
The argument is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction setting up the discussion and a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points.
task achievement
The essay shows insightful awareness of the ethical dimensions of scientific endeavors, balancing different viewpoints before presenting a well-reasoned argument for prioritizing human well-being.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
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